The Girl with the Dreams.

Let's have a garden party

2012-01-25T20:54:00.000+01:00

Summer seems to be so far away...
I miss the smell of flowers, of grass, of strawberries and cherries. Even the sun has a smell; dusty, warm and lovely as it shines on your back, leaving shadows where your clothes are.
I miss the sound of whistling birds, the rustling of papers being turned, the screams of children in the cool water.
I miss sitting in the garden with a glass of sparkling wine, reading a book, feeling the sun warming your shoulders.

In my head, it's warm. I'm sitting in the sun in France, hearing the sound of the sea with sand between my toes. I'm sitting in the garden, having a barbecue party with my friends. I'm sitting on the porch, drinking tea with the ladies.
And at night, we are lying in bed together, clammy because of the heat, waiting for the thunder and the rain to refresh the day.

In my mind, the school year is over and we have all the time of the world to do what we want.
We sing, we dance, we swim and we lie down in the grass.
We travel, we see the world, and at the end, we come home and tell stories.
It's sweet, coming together at the end of the summer.
It's good to see how we changed and still are the same.
How we grew, experienced, saw.
How we remembered, missed and came back to our own lifes eventually.
Because there's nothing like home...

And after a few weeks, a few months, we all are together in class again, talking, laughing and having fun.
But I think that time is over when this school year ends.
There are new things waiting for us.
University, new cities, new friends.
Living on your own, going to college, becoming indepentant.
Growing up...

But before that time, we'll go through some things together. And even when we have parted, we still will be together. At least, in my mind we will.
'Cause in my mind, there is an eternal end of Summer...

With love,
Kirsten

I can still recall our last summer, I still see it all.
Walks along the Seine, laughing in the rain,
Our last summer, memories that remain.

We made our way along the river
And we sat down in the grass by the Eiffel tower.
I was so happy we had met, it was the age of no regret, oh yes.
Those crazy years, that was the time of the flower-power.
But underneath, we had a fear of flying,
Of getting old, a fear of slowly dying.
We took the chance like we were dancing our last dance

I can still recall our last summer, I still see it all
In the tourist jam, round the Notre Dame
Our last summer, walking hand in hand

- ABBA -

Dreams

2012-01-15T21:44:00.000+01:00

I remember some moments of magic. The kind of moments when you wouldn't find yourself wondering if it started snowing glitter and stars suddenly.
It is the kind of moments time passes in a strange way. Faster, slower, faster again, and then it seems like it has stopped passing, just before it runs forward again.
You just can't put your finger on it, but something is special...

One moment comes, and then it's gone before you know it. But before it's gone, it's followed immediately by another. It's all put to order perfectly.
One laugh follows to another, one word flows into more words and you're dancing and floating and soaring over and through and in it.

It's the feeling you can do anything, be anyone, go anywhere.
And sometimes, just sometimes, it's not just a feeling, it's a fact.
You close your eyes and when you open them, you're at the beach in Saint-Tropez with diamonds and pearls in your hair. You close them again and suddenly you're watching yourself on a billboard at Broadway, everyone knowing your face.
Another blink and you're staring in a mirror, seeing yourself wearing the most beautifull dress you've ever seen, looking like a moviestar.

And suddenly, you blink for another time, and then you're all alone.
The sun rising in the sky, and there's only you, wearing nothing but underwear and your hair's a mess. There still is sparkling polish on your finger and toenails, there's a smudged line of eyeliner under your eyes. Your feet still hurt from the highest heels, your lips still show a hint of the red lipstick you wore, your dress lying on the chair across from your bed.
It's gone now, but there must have been something...

You're left with nothing but memories coming back to you slowly and a satisfying feeling.
Memories of how you danced, sung, laughed.
Images in your head of how you felt wonderful, beautiful, happy.
The feeling you're body was working on endorhins and sparkling champagne rather than on oxigen. Your head feeling light and nothing seemed to matter.

It must have been a wonderful night, and a lovely dream.
It seems like it's gone forever, but...

I want to invite you to a magical blur.
I want to take you to a place filled with miracles, with glitter and stars.
A place where everything is better, prettier, more for a while.
Enter it, be there for a moment, spend some time feeling wonderful and having fun. Dance, whirl around and enjoy.
Then leave.

It will bring great memories of even greater moments.
And with some good luck, there's a picture on the wall to bring it all back to you whenever you want.
'Cause eventually, it's just what it is without your fantasy...

With love,
Kirsten

I close my eyes and dream about a sunny holiday
I wish that I was beachin' down in Saint Tropez.
Or sitting in the lobby at the fabulous Pierre
With diamonds on my fingers and not a single care.

Instead I'm on the Avenue where nobody goes
With fields of green that wilted like a last summer rose.
Some people call it paradise, but I call it pain
Baby take me anywhere, but not here again.

Why am I sitting in the middle of nowhere?
Standing here with nothing to do
Wondering if I really love you, oh oh,
I guess that I do.

- Caro Emerald -

Floating through the sky

2012-01-01T17:09:00.000+01:00

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas this year.
Lots of joy, pleasure and love. A good time with your family. The prettiest Christmas tree.
Everything you wished for and more.

I hope you celebrated and had a gorgeous New Year's Eve yesterday night, and that you can look back to a great year.
I had a party with some friends and we talked for a while about last year. It made me think of some special 2011-moments.

I did a lot of travelling, saw so many places I never saw before and fell in love with in.
Rome, with all the art, the buildings, the Italian ambiance, and all my friends from school. Secretly smoking cigarettes in the bathroom of our hotel room when we felt down the last day, talking and sharing our problems. The blisters on my feet from walking all day long for a week. The sun, the Colosseum, the Trevi-fountain.

Germany, a four week-trip from Bonn to a tiny town, from Munich to Berlin. How good it felt to see the sun again in Munich after two weeks of rain. How Berlin was pretty in both sunlight and rain. Cycling in Berlin, the wind blowing through my hair on a summer's evening, with people from all over the world. The museums, the busy days, and above all, the people.

And there were so much more lovely moments. Too much to mention. The year feels complete.
Eventually, this must be somewhat the same for everyone. We all had some good and some bad moments, but I hope there were more of the good ones.
And if you look back to the bad memories, I hope you notice you've learned something from them and have grown stronger.

Now all we have to do is looking forward. A new year, new chances, new possibilities.
New plans to make, new dreams to fulfill, new goals to achieve.
There are so many things waiting for me: My eighteenth birthday, graduation, the final-dance. Letting go of my high school friends, university, my driver's licence. A summer holiday to the south of France with my parents, sisters, my sister's sweetheart and my own.

I'm sure not everything will go according to plan.
But to be honest... It would be boring, and I would not want it any other way.
Happy new year.

With love,
Kirsten

Here’s to us one more toast and then we’ll pay the bill
Deep inside both of us can feel the autumn chill
Birds of passage, you and me
We fly instinctively
When the summer’s over and the dark clouds hide the sun
Neither you nor I’m to blame when all is said and done.

It’s so strange when you’re down and lying on the floor
How you rise, shake your head, get up and ask for more
Clear-headed and open-eyed
With nothing left untried
Standing calmly at the crossroads,no desire to run
There’s no hurry any more when all is said and done.

- ABBA -

I can't wait to see those faces

2011-12-11T14:40:00.000+01:00

These are the days when the air is cold and fresh in the morning.
The days when the air feels heavy and smoky in the late afternoon.
The days you come home with red cheeks and frozen fingers from blowing winds.
And then, when you walk the driveway to the front door, yell: "I'm home!" and open the door, it feels like coming home in every way it could.

Tripping puppy toes on the wooden floor. Songs playing on the readio softly. Light in the garden, in the living room. It feels like they're in my body, too.

These days always pass in a blur.
It goes too fast, too slow. There's too little time to get everything fixed and perfect in time, yet it always works out. Presents, dinners, meetings. Family, friends, decoration.
I've always loved this time of the year.

Come home, make yourself comfy-cosy on the couch with a good cup of hot tea and a lovely chicklit or your favorite classic.
Watch all the movies on the television, sing along with the songs and put on the loveliest Christmas tree.
It's all a lovely tradition and makes a big difference.

But this year, I feel like I have a problem.
I've had the very same feeling every year, but it always is over when December starts, at last.
And now, it just won't leave me and I don't know what to do about it, but:

I just don't know what to ask for Christmas!

I already have everthing I need and more, so what is left for me to ask for?
So the only things I'll ask for this year are loads of snow, loads of glitter, candle light, a warm home and as always love, lots of it.
And every gift received, is a nice bonus.
Every gift given, is entirely different. It's a smile received.
And I believe that that is much better.

With love,
Kirsten

So this is Christmas, and what have you done ?
Another year over and a new one just begun.
And so this is Christmas, I hope you have fun.
The near and the dear ones, the old and the young.

A very merry Christmas
And a happy New Year.
Let's hope it's a good one
Without any fear.

And so this is Christmas for weak and for strong
(War is over if you want it)
For rich and the poor ones the world is so wrong
(War is over now)
And so Happy Christmas for black and for white
(War is over if you want it)
For yellow and red ones, let's stop all the fight.
(War is over now).

- John Lennon -

This dream was me and you.

2011-11-21T22:31:00.000+01:00

I happened to come across some pictures my sister took about half a year ago.
Surprised, interested, I started watching them.
Surprised because I immediately noticed that I knew all these places the pictures were showing me.
Interested, because I wondered if she would have seen the same things I saw two years earlier.

Of course, nothing was exactly the same. The weather conditions were different, she had a newer camera than I had, she did some other things.
But I was glad to find the city itself hasn't changed and still is as beautiful as I remember it.

Let's take a trip through some pictures, through two different minds that are the same somehow, too.
Two different persons seeing the same things. In different ways.

The coast of Blanes still looks the same... Only sunnier.
Doesn't mean less pretty. Just means different.

The sky still is blue, the leaves still are green.
The trees might have grown taller. Some might have fallen down, others might have been born out of the earth. But in this abundant garden, I don't think a chance is visible...

The sea still has that incredible attraction on me.
Do you know that feeling, when you see the sea, you just have to feel the waves, the water?

The sun still sparkles on the water, making you want to squeeze your eyes rather than looking away.

There still are birds. Though I'm not sure where my sister took this picture with the geese, I liked the fact that she also seems to like taking pictures of animals. I only wished I had seen these geese too...

The city still has it all.
The fuzzy crowded side of the city, the lovely mediterrenean influence of a southern city.

You can still see the most incredible colors. You still can buy anything you would want.
I still must smell like fresh fruit and vegetetables there...

It still is a place where I would imagine fairies living.

It's still so colorful, so lovely and such a nice place to go with friends.

It still is crazy, somehow. Gaudí, Dalí, all these great artists have had the biggest influence, and it's like nothing else I know.

The Sagrada Familia still isn't finished. Even after two years, though they must have done a lot on the inside. I saw the pictures, and it's so interesting to see the building changing. Once it's ready, I really want to go back...

There are details everywhere, now even more than two years ago.
You never are done looking around.

Comparing my own pictures to the ones my sister took, I can't deny the similarity that shows up now and then.
But what makes me wonder, is this: We both saw the same things, in the same city, same circumstances. I love the city and the people, the feeling. My sister doesn't like it at all. I can't even imagine someone not immediately loving it.
It might only be a different way of experiencing. Show two people the very same thing, and they won't see the same.

But sometimes, just sometimes, I wonder if I'm the only one who sees things in a different way.
And I wouldn't want it any other way.

With love,
Kirsten

I had this perfect dream.
This dream was me and you.
I want all the world to see,
A miracle sensation,
My guide and inspiration.
Now my dream is slowly coming true.
The wind is a gentle breeze,
The bells are ringing out.
They're calling us together, guiding us forever.
Wish my dream would never go away

Barcelona! It was the first time that we met.
Barcelona! How can I forget?
The moment that you stepped into the room,
You took my breath away.

- Freddie Mercury -

Inspiration

2011-11-05T23:55:00.002+01:00

A post dedicated to those who lost the fight.
To those who still are fighting.
To those who will have to fight.
And above all, to those who have won the fight.

October Breast Cancer Month is over now, but I still wanted to share the prettiest pictures taken from Pink Ribbon Magazine.
I don't think it's something we only have to think about once a year. It happens everyday, everywhere.
So, just before we could forget...

A future without cancer. Without the pain, the loss, the need to fight.
Will it ever be like that?
I can only dream about things like that, and maybe, one day, I could do something for those fighters.

In ten, fifteen years, I want to be the one that says: "We did what we can, and it's gone."
I also will have to be the one to tell people something they never want to hear.
But I will do whatever I can to make a difference.
Every person is another one, every life saved a miracle.

I've been wondering about the future lately. I really hope I can realise one of my biggest dreams; studying medicine and become a doctor. It's what I've always wanted, and I know I'll never want something else.
But can I handle the job? Am I strong enough to look someone in the eyes and say: "I'm sorry to tell you this, but you have cancer, and there is nothing we can do about it anymore."?

I'm not sure. I hope I am. And if I'm not, I'll find something else to live happily with.

Every ending is a new beginning. You have to close the old doors to open new ones.
A new beginning doesn't have to feel good right from the start. You might grow used to it.
You always have a choice.
And if you just keep in mind some lessons I always try to think of when everything seems to be going wrong, I'm sure it will be better.

First: Love is the solution for so many problems.
Love and time can heal all wounds, if you only let them. If you feel bad, call your best friend, talk to your mother, play with your pet.
Prevent yourself from feeling lonely and sad. You never are alone.

Second: Life is a precious gift we're given. Don't waste it.
Time always is too short. Make sure you never regret things for not doing them.
Be crazy, be yourself, do what you feel like. If it's dancing on the table and singing out loud, then dance on the table and sing. If it's crawling under the covers and relax, do so.
But just make sure you are doing it because you want to.

Third: Never forget to smile and be kind.
Reach out your hand when that's what someone needs. Help them to get up again, take these first insecure steps together. It makes everyone stronger.
Be nice to yourself. It's who you have to live your life with.

Now, all that is left for me to say, is never give up. No matter what you're fighting for.

With love,
Kirsten

And you know, and you know

'Cause my life's a mess

And I'm trying to grow
So before I'm old I'll confess:

You think that I'm strong

You're wrong, you're wrong
I'll sing my song, my song, my song.

If I did it all again I'd be a nun
The rain was never cold when I was young
I'm still young, we're still young
Life's too short to be afraid
Step inside the sun.

- Robbie Williams -

Feed me sweet love

2011-10-26T00:38:00.001+02:00

Pour drops of sweetness on my skin.
Make them linger there, make them stay.
I want to feel them melting on my skin, the way your warmth mixes with mine.
There are so many different ways to feel, to say, to do and to experience things.
It's all about perceptive, perspective.

Same things. Different image.
Change a little detail, look at it in a different way, and it's clearer immediately.
But still, the inner core, its heart, remains the same...
Does looking in a different way change anything at all then?

I think it does.
Look at it front-faced, don't be afraid to look things right in the eyes and say: "Here I am."
Fear never brings wise decisions. It brings doubts, troubles, blurred minds. Who would want that?
Face your fears.
Face your feelings.
Face everything and everyone that crosses your path.
Let it overtake you, let it get you.
It might be something beautiful...

With love,
Kirsten

If you can't wake up in the morning
Cause your bed lies vacant at night
If you're lost, hurt, tired or lonely
Can't control it, try as you might
May you find that love that won't leave you
May you find it by the end of the day
You won't be lost, hurt, tired and lonely
Something beautiful will come your way.

- Robbie Williams -

I'd like you to meet someone

2011-10-20T17:48:00.000+02:00

Remember that I told you I had something to tell you this week?
Well, here comes the big news...

When I came home yesterday night, I was welcomed by the sound of little, hopping paws, and then a tiny, warm creature sniffing around my shoes.
I immediately fell in love. Again.
It's a good thing I have a lot of love to share with everyone...

This is Sepp, the new subject of my affection.
Eight weeks old today, and he's such a cutie. Just like a baby, making cute sounds, sleeping a lot, getting used to everything, from his collar to everything in our house, including us.
It's so cute how he runs around the rooms, slipping on our floor, jumping and just being adorable.

His favorite spots: Under the couch, on your leg, or on your lap, and then falling asleep there. I don't mind, how could you ever get up when he's lying there, making these quiet sounds, his tiny nose vibrating slightly.
It's going to be a little naughty one, I can assure you. Do I mind? Not really...

He's so small, but he sure will grow so fastly. I can't wait for him to be little taller, so we can go for longer walks with him and he won't be that shy anymore.
I do understand it, of course, we just took him home yesterday, away from his mother and his siblings, I wouldn't like that either...
But I do hope he'll feel like home at our house soon!

With love,

Kirsten

Fall colors

2011-10-16T14:58:00.001+02:00

Sun shines through the glass roof.
It warms my arms, my neck, my hair.
Here in our garden, it seems like summer still is on it's highest peak.
But if you look better, it's evidently there.
Autumn.

The greens are starting to loose.
Red, orange, yellow, brown is taking over the world outside.
I can't say I don't like it.
Red is warm, it's the color you see when you look at the sun and close your eyes...

Autumn is cosy.
Rainy days are perfect for creating things, from baking a perfect cake to painting.
Reading, writing, or going outside for a long walk in the forest.
Falling leafs smell so good...

In the morning and evening, as the sun starts to rise or to set, I do miss the warming feeling it ususally provides me with when I'm going outside.
But there are other things that manage to keep me warm. I love warm sweaters, fuzzy blankets, hot tea and lying comfy-cosy on the couch with a good movie on the TV.
But above all and more important, love warms us all from the inside out.
And there's nothing better than that.

With love,
Kirsten

P.S.: I can't wait for next week. I have something to tell you then.

One day you'll look to see I've gone
For tomorrow may rain, so I'll follow the sun.
Some day you'll know I was the one
But tomorrow may rain, so I'll follow the sun.
And now the time has come
And so my love I must go.
And though I lose a friend,
In the end you will know.
One day you'll find that I have gone
But tomorrow may rain, so I'll follow the sun.
Yes, tomorrow may rain, so I'll follow the sun.

- The Beatles -

Close-ups.

2011-10-06T18:44:00.000+02:00

The opposite of hate is not love.
It is intimacy.
It's being close to someone, something.
It's being able to tell anything without being ashamed.
It's saying what's on your mind.
Above all, it's being yourself.

If you come closer and look better, you will see so many things you never noticed before
Look at the sea and see the glistening waves.
Look at a friend and notice you share the same thought.
Look into someone's eyes and suddenly they're multi-colored.
Look into someone's soul and feel it's alright.

Details make things worth looking at.
They make you wanna get closer, they make you wanna understand the complexity that hides behind the simple things.
Nothing is perfect, no one is perfect.
But these details, these little things!
Above all, they make things beautiful.

Sparkles, flowers, patterns. Colors, patches, dots.
These details, once again.

Everything we know is built out of parts.
Every little flower has dozens of petals, perfect for plucking: "Love me, love me not, love me, love me not..."
Every person has his own whims, the things that make you one-of-a-kind.
We're all pretty, we shine and sparkle and enlight.

Little surprises are hidden everywhere.
They are there to catch us when we least expect it, and therefore we call them surprises.
Never expect, always be prepared for what might come.
But also let everything come to you. It might wash you over, it might bring you down.
But there will be things that will bring you up again, make you stronger, make it worth it.

Adore who loves you. Love who adores you.
Laugh with these who make you laugh. Laugh because of yourself.

Accept that it's not always the way you want it to be. Make it that way, then.

Go for it.

Don't rush, take your time to relax.

Smell the flowers, the grass, the ocean.

Hold on tight when you found what you've been looking for.

With love,

Kirsten

I know a way to something much better
Hold it inside me
I know a fairytale that 's longer
Than anyone will read
I know a way to something much higher
Keep it inside me
I know the way to touch the sky

Into the light we go, we 're speeding
With all headlights on
I know the glory moment's approaching
This can go so wrong
I know a way to something much higher
Keep it inside me
We 're away from today and this time.

- Sunrise Avenue -

Decisions, decisions, decisions...

2011-09-27T16:44:00.000+02:00

Let's think about something deeply...

Life is beautiful.
La vie est belle.
Das Leben ist schön.
La vida es buena.
Het leven is mooi.
La vita è bella.

So many ways to say it, and they all lead to the same conclusion.
Is that something we can apply to other things, too? If so, how many ways are there that lead to a happy end then, or to love?

Things might seem different once you notice they have turned upside down. But the essential thing remains the same... So wouldn't that mean that things never really change, but all you have to do is look at them in a different way?
Doesn't upside down just mean the same, but different? That would mean, all we have to do, is changing our perspectives, and we can change everything from bad to good, from good to better...

How many ways are there to bring a smile to someone's face?
Must be a million...

Music, singing, dancing.
High heels, a floral dress, a shimmering necklace.
Bright red lipstick, lovely nails, a wonderful smile.
Family, friends, lovers.
The ones who are there for you, the ones that can make you laugh so hard your stomach hurts and tears stream down your face.

How many ways are there to reach your destiny? To find find someone who is the same, but different, too? Made for each other, a perfect match.
If one thing goes wrong, doesn't mean you can't be happy in another way. I don't believe we are made for a certain life, I believe we can do what makes us happy and that will be different things. I could be happy being a writer, I could be happy studying medicine. Two things which will end in complete different lives...
Can that very same attitude be used in case of love? As in, there's not one person who can make me happy, there are more?
I'd like to believe there's only one true love, though I have to admit that there probably are more. I've gone through that, too. It's not bad, for I know, that eventually everything will be fine.

Who never has been walking the edge, who never has known the fear of falling down, doesn't know the relief, the happiness that runs through you whenever you reached your destiny.
It's not bad, being afraid of falling. Everyone is. I am too, all the time.
But as long as I know that I'll have people who will always help me to get back up again, I can handle that fear.
Never let fear keep you from doing something, it's better to regret what you have done than what you have not done.

How many ways are there to see the beauty in something common?
It's a talent to create something pretty with the most simple things. And I can't do more than hoping, wishing to have only the slightest bit of that talent.
It makes life bereable.

With love,
Kirsten

Give me something, I've been wanting
Take my feelings to the sky.

Give my something, I've been wondering

Give my feelings wings to fly.

Destiny is to be by your side.

- Sunrise Avenue

If you search for it, you'll find it everywhere.

2011-09-15T16:48:00.000+02:00

Ah well, eventually, there are so many incredible things... But you manage to facinate me all the time, and no matter how many time I spend thinking about it, it never gets exactly clear to me.
But maybe that's not the intention at all.

And I just wanted to let you know that I am happy. Not all day every day, but every day. And that's what counts. Though I'm confused and sad sometimes, I always find happiness in little things.

Sticking together with my friends, for an example.
When I was going through one of my hardest times, they were the ones who were there for me, and now, they still are. With me being hard to handle , feeling misunderstood or being incredibly happy sometimes, friends are the most important thing one could have, to share emotions and moods with.

Whatever you cause us to feel, we're there and we're ready. We can handle you.

Seeing things from another angle opens a lot of doors.

Let us be together. I know it's possible.

Let us change the natural things, make them even prettier. It's all we need.

Come closer. It changes everything.

I'll find my place to be. It will be fine.
And after all...

With love,
Kirsten.

I’ve been running far away from love
I’ve been trying to rise above
Thought I’d be cooler with no one
And I thought it would be easy
I thought it’s easy.

There was not a warning sign on you
There was nothing I could do
You opened all the gates from me
And you made me see it’s easy
You just feel the love and sing.

Better for worse, to rain or shine
Now you’re mine, it brings me
Happiness happiness happiness
You are the one (you bring me happiness)
You call me dear and hold me close
Give sweet love and it glows
Happines happiness happiness
You are the one (you bring me happiness)

Lately she’s been dreaming about the one
About her prince, the golden son
She’s waiting for the perfect match
But that ain’t quite the catch
It’s easy
She should find someone who sings.

- Sunrise Avenue -

Tides are changing

2011-09-04T16:12:00.000+02:00

Some things seem so clear, so easy. They are what they are, a simple creation in its own beauty, nothing special.

Just too bad the things I really want all seem like a complete mess...

Nothing lasts forever, nothing can survive the threat of time passing. An hour, a day, a week, a month, a year... What would they be worth if nothing changed? If today would be like yesterday, and tomorrow is exactly like today, what a life would that be?
It wouldn't be one.

My dreams and hopes have always reached to the sky. They still do so. Would it be easier if my expectations, my dreams, weren't that big?
I don't think it would. For they still haven't come true, it might be better to keep dreaming till the dream does come true.
At least it's easier than reality. There are no limits in my mind, I can do anything there. Time, distance, troubles there might be, they don't matter anymore when I dream. In my dreams, it's just me and you and we laugh...

But still, how do I know if these dreams will come true? Everything changing, but I still don't have the guts to say what's on my mind exactly, or what I feel.

It confuses me so often. I talk about everything to everyone, till they are annoyed by it and tell me to please shut up for five minutes.
But the words I'm in love with you always get stuck on my lips...
What if there's something wrong with me, being not able to take the chance and risk something by using these words? Life is about taking the risk and go for it, I know, but still, I just can't do it.
In my dreams, there isn't such a thing, there's just the understanding, safety, and warmth...

Shadows can't find me when I'm asleep. It's been really long since I've had my last nightmare, a few years. My dreams might not be horrifying, they still can be confusing. What am I dreaming, what am I seeing, what does it mean?

Sometimes, the answer seems so clear, but the moments I wake up feeling confused make my head spin.
Is it strange I sometimes pretend I'm talking to you when I feel like that?

Maybe it's better to let you go. But with you, I'd let go of all my dreams. I might be able to live without you, it's how I'm surviving for a while now. But I know I can't live without my dreams. They're what drags me to boring moments, hard times.
Whenever I'm sad, it's okay to think there will be better times, that everything will be fine. That there will be a moment on which everything falls into place and is clear. That there will be a happy ending, and that one day I might not need to say the words I can't say, but that a simple I feel that way, too will be enough.

And I truly believe that that is true. I have to.

With love,
Kirsten

Träumst du davon, alles zu riskieren?
Träumst du? Ich träume mit!

Fühlst du auch, wie unsere Zeit verrinnt?
Fühlst du? Ich fühle mit!
Weinst du auch, wenn deine Welt zerbricht?
Weinst du? Ich weine mit!
Brauchst du mich, wenn du am Abgrund stehst?
Springst du? Ich halte dich!

Nichts ist für Immer
und für die Ewigkeit.
Nichts ist für Immer,
nur der Moment zählt ganz allein.

http://lyricstranslate.com

Brauchst du mich, bei deinem letzten Schritt?
Ich halte dich...

- Unheilig -

Nothing is forever...

http://lyricstranslate.com

There's something I got to say...

2011-08-24T21:59:00.000+02:00

It's not much, but I felt like I should get it said anyway...

I really appreciate people taking time to read my stories, which sometimes are two hundred pages or more.
My thoughts, which sometimes are insane, blurry, change all the time.
My attemps to poetry, in which I can express my feelings, sometimes not even clear to myself.

I try, but still I'll never be a modern Shakespeare, Byron, Goethe, Voltaire or García Lorca, some of my favorite writers, but maybe, just maybe, I could give the world something new, something different. Something light-hearted and lovely, something happy, drenched in fairytales of love and desire, with rough and sad edges, hopeless and desperate influences.
Nothing is better for a writer's soul than a heavy storm, a true love's feeling, and eventually, a broken heart.

I've always written for myself, to make things clear, and I still love doing so. It always gives me the opportunity to think things over, and other people understanding what I mean, or even liking what I write, is such a beautiful thing to me.
It's really supportive, and I just wanted to say thanks for that.

With love,
Kirsten

Dear Sir or Madam will you read my book,

It took me years to write it, will you take a look?

It's based on a novel by a man named Lear

And I need a job so I want to be a paperback writer.

- The Beatles -

It's heartache that keeps me up at night

2011-08-16T23:04:00.001+02:00

Do you know what it is like having your head and your heart fighting?
Ever felt turned inside out, head over heels, torn from head to toe?
Choices, decisions, possibilities to be made, to be thought about, to be considered.

Black, white.
Dark, light.
Easy, hard.
Safe, insecure.
Head, and heart...

What is it that I want? And, even more important, is what I want the same thing as what is good for me? Or could that be something entirely different? I'm not sure if I know what is good for me, but if I don't know it, who would know?
Could there be a chance that it was...you?

"All I want is you."
But... are you really all I want? Or is there something more?

My heart says it's all. My head says it can't be all, there has to be more.
It's like my head and my heart are arguing in languages I don't understand completely, languages which are foreign to me.
My head says I should let go, that it's better to let it be as it is now, that it would be stupid to do something with these feelings you give me. I barely know what I'm feeling and for whom exactly these feelings are.
It wouldn't be smart to listen to these feelings for someone of whom I'm not even sure that I know this person.
But... My heart says that that is what I want to do the most, that I want to be with you, that I want to get to know you if I don't already do so.

Whoever said that love is sweet, must have fallen in love easily at the age of thirteen with the girl of his dreams and been together from then on.
Love, which is, according the me, the most powerful and most important thing on Earth, brings people up high and all down below again.
But just imagine how perfect it would be: Falling in love, sharing that love, and then a happily ever after.
Too bad things almost never are perfect...

If there would be a solution in hiding, I would leave immediately to a place no one could ever find me. Being all alone might even be better than being with anyone. At least it would mean that I didn't have to think about all these circumstances which are hunting me...
I'd know where to go. There are some places which are drenched with my happiness. I'd run to one of these places, but would it be the same as it was last time? When I was there with you?

I don't want to hurt anyone, but what if that would hurt me? Should I put my own happiness over someone else's? Wouldn't that be selfish?
Then again, a heart always is selfish enough to make it's own choices. So is love.

I've made my decision, I know what to do. It only has to be arranged.
It might take some time, and all I do, is asking for that time and some patience.
You don't have the faintest idea of what is going on. Neither have you.

I just hope to get it all clear as soon as possible, and that my head and my heart can find some peace again.
I need some help, some understandig.
If there's no one to incite feelings anymore, does that mean these feelings aren't there anymore?
I hope that I will find out. I have to.

So here's the plan: I'll do what I have to do to figure it all out, to get it clear. My heart will be sealed as long as possible.

Show me if you still are able to unwrap it and I'm yours, even if that wouldn't be the best thing to do.
And if you can't unwrap it, there always is more. I'll find my way through it.

If anyone gets hurt, please know it has never been my intention.
But I think that this time, I just have to do what I want, what I feel is right. I'll have to leave my heart at home as I go discovering the unknown to make it known.

My dearest reader, please help me if you can.

And if you can't, please learn something of my story.

I can't turn it back, but you might be able to prevent things like this.
Oh, how my aching heart longs for something it can't have...

With love,
Kirsten

You bring me right back down to the earth from the promised land.
We’re getting close to the centre of the earth with an honest plan.
You’ll never be your mother or your father do you understand?
Do you understand?

Why don’t you teach your heart to feel?
And give you love love,
Give you love love,
Give it all away.
Why don’t you teach your heart to talk?
And give you love love,
Give you love love,
Give me give me what I need/

- Take That -

I can still recall our last Summer

2011-08-08T01:38:00.000+02:00

Ich würde euch Blumen schicken
Aber hat das überhaupt noch Zweck?
Ich würde euch gerne noch mal sehen
Aber alle sind ja längst schon weg.

It was an amazing Summer.
I can remember how I felt when I stepped out of the train in Cologne with my suitcase, trying to prevent accidents to happen, and how suprised I was to hear "Hey, you must be Kirsten!" as soon as I got out.
Slightly nervous, little exhausted, very excited.
Relieved I felt, too. Finally being there was good, it meant there was no way back and it meant that it was time to see what was coming and to enjoy the time.

I remember being there and first seeing the others. How we quietly stood there, asking who we were and where we were from. I never imagined that we would become so close.

There was something about this Summer. I never noticed how quick a month can pass, it seems so long.
It felt like just three days ago, that moment when we arrived, and before I knew it, it was time to say goodbye.
It was magical, amazing, wonderful.
I felt good, sunny, happy, and I did a lot of what I love to do: laughing. It was great from the start, and it only got better as we grew closer to each other.

Even though we all were different, it worked perfectly. Our cultures, families, interests and personalities were not the same, but it didn't matter at all.
If you just realise how much you can learn from other people...
I really learned a lot these past four weeks. There were the facts, school-like things to know, about the places we visited, history and stories.
But above all, there were ideas, people, cultures, feelings, new friends to get to know. I also found out some new things about myself, which always is a good experience, and therefore, I thank everyone who was with me. I couldn't have done it without you, we were a wonderful combination together.
And now, as we are spread over the entire world again, I think back to the time we spent and hope there are some moments in which you think of me.

It was such a beautiful time. I never realised how things can be pretty in different ways: Rain, darkness, light, sunshine. Eventually, almost everything looks better when the sun shines, but we didn't let the clouds and the rain ruin the mood. Besides, all of you still looked gorgeous with wet hair and raindrops on the face.

I already miss them. Really bad. But somewhere, it's pretty, too. We knew we only had limited time together, and that might have been one of the reasons we grew so close.
We might see each other again, no, we will see each other again. Maybe it won't be all of us, maybe it will, but I'm sure we are going to spend some more time together. I've gotten way too used to all of them to let them go right now.

How I wished I had the time, the money and the opportunity to see all of you again next week.

I could wait a month, a year, two years, maybe even more, if I only knew when I'd see you again.

Not knowing makes me feel out of control, an utterly unpleasant feeling.

Maybe I should start planning my journey to visit all of them... Who will be first?
Netherlands, Germany, Iceland, Paraguay, Lithuania, France, UK?

All of them? A new trip back to where we started? Four new weeks?
Seems fine to me...

With love,
Kirsten

There are places I remember

All my life, though some have changed.
Some forever, not for better

Some have gone, and some remain.

All these places have their moments

With lovers and friends I still can recall.

Some are dead and some are living
In my life, I loved them all.

Though I know I'll never lose affection

For people and things, that went before.

I know I'll often stop and think about them

In my life, I loved you more.

- The Beatles -

Liebe ist Leben

2011-08-01T01:05:00.001+02:00

My dearest reader,

Once again, my apologies for my absence, but as I said before, I'm incredibly busy. We're running around all day long, visiting things, having fun, and in the evenings, pajama-parties are common, so usually we're just glad to take a nice, hot shower and fall asleep...

We're having the greatest time here.
I wondered before I went, would it be better than my last Summer, which I spent in incredibly beautiful Peru?
I think I do have to say that it's not exactly better, but just as good in a very different way. Germany definitely is not South-America, and we do totally different things here. It's not a comparison.
Nevertheless, it's wonderful to be here and spend time with great people from all over the world. Amazing.

Meet the best new people. We're Gruppe Fang 22, named after Catch 22, and aren't we the loveliest? We al are different, but that's okay, we learn a lot from each other and it works.

I have made the greatest new friends. It's incredible how fast we grew close, how some of them have changed from silent and shy to amazingly funny and wonderful friends. I'm going to miss them...

It's just that we are together all the time, for almost four weeks now. You get used to having all of them around you all the time, and Friday, it will be over.
I. Don't. Want. To. Go. Home!
Nevertheless, I have to. We all have to go home by the end of the week, but we don't talk about it if we don't have to.
Who knows when, where and if we will ever see each other again?

It's like we can do whatever as long as we are here, and as soon as we get on our plane home, that is over. We've seen and done so many things.
Visited museums, buildings, memorials.
Swam in the evening, went skating on ice, watched over Munich at night, which was so incredibly pretty.
We sleighed down a snowy mountain, threw snowballs at each other and had fun in the snow, in July.
If they told me I could fly, I would almost believe them.
They make me feel like I can, sometimes they really do.

Also, time passes like we're flying...
A day turns into an evening, another night, and then a new morning rises. It's a blur, it's incredible.

For now, I do have some things left to do. Sleeping, for an example. Having sweet dreams, getting some rest. How exhausted having fun can be...

Tomorrow will be a new day, new impressions.

Berlin is really interesting, it's like nothing I've ever seen before. Not that I have seen so many big cities, but still, it's visible everywhere. It's cool, there are so many things to see.

I wonder what home will be like again. I miss my family and my friends, I miss the fun we always have together. Then again, it's so wonderful to be here, how could I wish for more?

I don't think I could.

With love,
Kirsten

Du brauchst die Straßenseite nicht zu wechseln, sobald du und kommen siehst.

Es gibt nichts zu befürchten, wenn du in Ordnung bist.

Falls du das Chaos liebst und auch noch Spaß verstehst,

sollten wir uns ganz kurz vorstellen, vielleicht sind wir die Gang für dich.

Wir sind das Katastrophen-Kommando auf der Suche nach einem Fest.

Falls es heute eins in dieser Stadt gibt, sei dir sicher, wir finden es.

Und wenn du noch nichts vorhast laden wir dich ein

für einen Abend, den du nie vergessen wirst, unser Ehrengast zu sein.
Es ist egal, woher du kommst, ganz egal, wohin du mal gehst.

Bleib heute abend hier, wenn du mit uns feiern willst.

Es ist egal, woher du kommst, ganz egal, wohin du mal gehst.

Laß diese Chance nicht aus, wer weiß, wann wir uns wiedersehen?

- Die Toten Hosen -

A moment to think, to feel, to miss, to love.

2011-07-17T16:36:00.000+02:00

I'm so sorry I haven't posted for such a long time.

I'm on a holiday, in Germany to be precisely, for a month, so I don't have much time to write and use my computer.

The first week has passed and it's lovely. We went to Bonn, made a trip to Cologne, one of my favorite cities. saw different things, museums, buildings, culture. Our group contains many different nationalities, and we get along very well.

We have France, Brittain, Iceland, Lithuania, Paraguay and of course, or own Dutchie-Holland-team. It's great to meet all these people from different countries, to learn about their culture and have fun together.

At the moment, I'm living with a family in a little town called Wilhelmsdorf, near the Bodensee. It's beautiful here, but I miss the rest of the group, the excitement of the city and our funny travel-leaders.

I also miss my mother, my father, my sisters and my friends.

Three weeks, and I'll be home again with them... Yes, I am counting the days. Eight to go over here, then five in München and five in Berlin...I'm already looking forward to that, it's going to be great.

These days will be wonderful, but then again, there's no place like home.

These are the five of us: me, Anastasia, Jeanne, Chantal and Eliza, on the International Evening, where we presented our countries. Like I said, nothing like home...

Now, just like the picture on top says, there always is something right, something good.

You only have to find it, get it out, use it.

I hope I will be able to keep doing that.

Not only for the next three weeks, but for the rest of my life.

'Cause eventually, life is traveling, just as much as a travel is living.

Wish me luck for my next three weeks, and if you happen to see my family, tell them that I miss them, that I think about them and above all, that I love them.

With love,
Kirsten

So, so you think you can tell heaven from hell,
Blue skys from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?

How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl.

Year after year running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears.
Wish you were here.

- Pink Floyd -

What we did last Summer

2011-07-02T18:52:00.000+02:00

I brought my best friend to her bus this morning. We waved goodbye as she went away to what I know will be the best time of her life. China.
She doesn't know what it's going to do with her, she can only guess, but I do, for I have experienced such a thing myself. It's a miracle.

I thought back to what I did last summer. The things I saw, I felt, I did. The beauty, the wealth, the poverty and the poor sides of life. I made great new friends.

I can't even think of it as something which happened to me.
It's something from another life, another world.
Time goes so fast.

Almost a year passed since I saw you last. I still remember every single detail. Not a single day passes without me thinking back to you.

We were happy together, we had the time of our lives, we cried together. I belonged to you that time, just as you belonged to me. You're forever in my heart, and I know you won't forget about me either.

As I think of all the crazy impressions, I can't believe things like that really happen. Your luggage carried by llamas in the mountains, camping in the freezing cold.
You surprised me all the time, making me see things I never saw before. I survived, now knowing I can handle more than I ever thought I could.
I loved that.

I left a piece of my heart on every street, on every path, and I need to get it back.
As soon as possible, I come running to you, flying, and we'll be reunited again.

No, this is not the time or the place for broken-hearted
'Cause this is the end of the rainbow
Where no one can be too sad
No, I don't wanna leave but I must keep moving ahead
Cause my life belongs to the other side
Behind the great ocean's waves.

Bye, bye Hollywood Hills I'm gonna
miss you wherever I go I'm gonna
come back to walk these streets again
Bye, bye Hollywood Hills forever.

I will do what I have to, just to see you back.

Your precious beauty, your warmth, the feelings you gave to me.

I will never be truly yours, nor will you ever be the only one for me,

but I'll never forget you.

I love you, Peru.

For now, as Jas probably is on the plane to Beijing,

I can only think of the trip I made last year,

and think of her, being glad for her to experience it, too.

It changes lives.

Now for you, my dearest reader, if you ever get the chance, go.
Don't think of what could go wrong, and if you do, think of what will be great.
Before the time to go was there, I woke up in the middle of the night, completely in panic.
I thought of giving up for a hundred times, maybe even more.
But I didn't give up, and now I'm so happy I didn't.

With love,
Kirsten

Long distance love, does it work?
All the miles in between get in your head
No, I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go.
Bye, bye Hollywood Hills I'm gonna
miss you wherever I go I'm gonna
come back to walk these streets again
Bye, bye Hollywood Hills forever.

- Sunrise Avenue -

I wonder

2011-06-24T20:40:00.000+02:00

Would it help, could it be

That it's just the right thing to do for me?

Stars. They are magic. See them falling down the sky, and make a wish, quickly!

But don't say it out loud...

Would my dreams eventually all come true?

Would it be just as I imaged, the two of us, me, and you..

You can wish most anything. Nothing is impossible, if you just believe in making it work.

Go for it, believe, work, and love.

Could that be my destiny?
Is that the life that belongs to me...

I think everything happens for a reason. We eventualle get where we belong and where we are happy.

For me, it's whenever I'm with you.

And if we truly belong togother?

Then we'll be, one day, forever...

I think that there is someone perfectly right for you out there. I know there will be.

It might only take some time to meet...

And if by any chance you'd leave me alone

Would I die, being just on my own?

We're strong. We can handle a lot more than we think we can. Believing it will be right in the end will work.

And eventually, we'll have our happy ending.

I'd go with you, no matter where

We'd have each other, that's all I care.

I do believe in Prince Charming. Not riding a horse, but the feeling is there.

That's all that counts, you loving the other...

(images from www.weheartit.com)

Attemps to poetry are my own.

And if it comes down in the end

Remember all those ways we went.

What belongs together, comes together. What breaks, can be healed.

What loves, is eternal and pretty.

I'll share with you ony of my favorite, sweet quotations. It comes from one of my childhood heroes. I think you know him, and you probably loved him too.

His name is Winnie the Pooh.

If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day,

so I never have to live without you.

That's adorable, isn't it?

Like it's in the movies, there's a happy ending for everyone of us out there, too.

It'll be alright. We can do anything, like I said.

Here is all we need:
Dreams, hope, and pixie dust...

With love,

Kirsten

Some day my prince will come
Some day we'll meet again
And away to his castle we'll go
To be happy forever I know

Some day when spring is here
We'll find our love anew
And the birds will sing
And wedding bells will ring
Some day when my dreams come true

- Disney -

Please don't stop the rain

2011-06-20T00:05:00.001+02:00

Water enriches the world.
How often do we complain about rainy days, cloudy skies, cold?
I do so, too.
Then again, I see the grean sea in the garden, all the flowers and the trees, everything which would not be if it weren't for the rain.
We need water, and in fact, we could see it as a miracle when it comes falling down from the sky, just appearing out of the clouds.

Water is pretty, too. I can remember the day this picture was taken, I was about ten years old then, and we were on a holiday in Bretagne, France. We went to this point, where there are amazing cliffs and it is lovely to see the water hit the rocks and to feel the wind wooshing through your hair.
It rained every day. Still, when I look back to it, it had a certain charm. Maybe it was just the kind of charm a child doesn't appreciate or understand...

Then again, we tried to enjoy the rare moments of sun. We went to the beach as soon as the clouds were gone for a moment, just to notice it had started raining again as we arrived. We still went into the water, only 'till our knees, but we just had to.
Do you know that feeling, how appealing water can be? A clear blue pool, a waveless sea, just anything.

And, when it gets too much, we just send something back to the sky, to tell it to stop the rain for a moment. I remembered this moment very good too. I was twelve and I went to see Robbie Williams live in Cologne with my parents and sister. It rained for a moment, but after the first act, it was dry again and it was a lovely evening. One of the best of my life.

I always used to hate cycling in the rain. Now I noticed, when I give in to it, it is okay, sometimes even delighting. Rain smells good, it smells clean and fresh.

I once saw someone looking even better after getting soaked.

You can't do anything about it, so wouldn't it be better to enjoy the circumstances instead of complaining about something you can't change?

I think it is.

With love,
Kirsten

I don't know where I crossed the line
Was it something that I said

Or didn't say this time
And I don't know if it's me or you
But I can see the skies are changing
In all the shades of blue
And I don't know which way it's gonna go

If it's gonna be a rainy day
There's nothing we can do to make it change
We can pray for sunny weather
But that won't stop the rain
Feeling like you got no place to run
I can be your shelter 'til it's done
We can make this last forever
So please don't stop the rain

- James Morrison -

Weren't you all I wanted?

2011-06-13T23:35:00.000+02:00

A rose in the high garden you desire.
Always the rose, always, our North and South!

- Federico García Lorca -

I'm writing poems again. The feeling that makes me tingle and gives me goose bumps inspires me.
I can't sleep at night. That very same feeling keeps on filling my head every day, and it gets worse at night.
I'm cold and warm at the same moment. I want to scream, to sing, to run. I want to lie down and let it all pass over me. I want to lie down in the grass and see the stars. Next to you. I'll never let you go.

There is magic in my fingertips. It also must be in yours. I feel it whenever you touch me. It slips through my skin and runs through my nerves and veins. It fills my body. It gives me energy, strength, love.
It's a miracle, a wonder, something which isn't logical to excist. It does excist, though, but it still is incredible. It's a fairytale...

Yes, I'm the kind of girl that still believes in fairytales, even though she's seventeen. Take me for what I am, encourage my fantasies, and never say it's useless to believe truly that something special can happen.
Life is a miracle and there are so many things to wonder about. Love, all kinds of it, the birth of a child, friendship, travels, the Earth itself, even death.
Angels do excist. I know some myself...

Now could we just leave everything being and look up to the sky? I don't need nothing, I only need you and me and my freedom. I could go everywhere, I could do everything, I only need to know I can.

Please make me know I can do it all.

And if I could do it all, would you do everything with me?

We could be so much stronger if we only did it all together.

With love,

Kirsten

We'll do it all, everything
On our own.

We don't need anything

Or anyone.

If I lay here
If I just lay here,

Would you lie with me

And just forget the world?

- Snow Patrol -

Put down all my feelings.

2011-06-07T17:38:00.000+02:00

Feelings are there to be expressed. The prettiest things have been created that way, and therefore we should go on, creating more. Some say the best things already are created, but we should try to be just as good at least. You might not become the new Michelangelo, or the new Shakespeare, but you could be just yourself and that should be good enough.

When creating something, I don't think it's about beauty all the time. Sometimes it's rather about dealing with something, or about putting your thoughts and feelings in order.
That's why I keep a diary. I like remembering the funny moments, I like to read back and recall. But what I love, is the moment I write it down. I love to let the day pass and think and philophize about people, things, happenings.
It always makes me calm.

I love how words and images can make a wonderful combination. I can't make the choice. I love writing and literature, books, reading, but on the other hand, what would the world be like without gorgeous images, without visible beauty?

I gave it a new try myself. I took the picture on our garden this Spring, as our magnolia tree was blooming with blossoms. The words come from the story I've been working on for such a long time already.
I hope it will be good enough one day.
How amazing it would be to write an actual book, to be able to hold it, to see the cover with my name on it. It still is a dream, but dreams are to be realised...

And eventually, there's the old-fashioned love letter. We write mails, we text, we call.

Sometimes I feel like I've been born in the wrong time.

I can just imagine it, a dress, a corset, lockets and curly hair.

A wild romance, passionate love, all kept secret.

Maybe I'm making it look more romantic than it really is.

Things are good the way they are, but a little romance would make it even better...

And what's wrong with a occasional love letter?

My dearest love,

I'm looking forward to the moment

I can hold you in my arms again.

I miss the nights we spent together,

just as the days you were by my side.

I have always loved you, and I will always love you.

Forever yours,

and with love,
Kirsten

Close your eyes and I'll kiss you, tomorrow I'll mis you

Remember I'll always be true.

And meanwhile I'm away, I'll write home everyday

And send all my loving to you.

I'll pretend that I'm kissing the lips I am missing
And hope that my dreams will come true.

And meanwhile I'm away, I'll write home everyday

And I'll send all my loving to you.

- The Beatles -

Let us tumble through fields filled with flowers

2011-05-31T00:13:00.000+02:00

Take my hand, let me hold yours. Take me to all the places that I wonder, to all the places I've never been. Show me all your colors, let me taste the sweetness, and feel it all inside.
Hold me high in your arms, whisper the words I long to hear.
It'll feel like home then, so natural...

Show me how colors fade, watch the sunset on the beach. Let us dive deep under water and see mermaids with shiny tails and braided hair.

Canto el ansia de estatua que persigues sin tregua
el miedo a la emoción que te aguarda en la calle.
Canto la sirenita de la mar que te canta
montada en bicicleta de corales y conchas.
Pero ante todo canto un común pensamiento
que nos une en las horas oscuras y doradas.
No es el Arte la luz que nos ciega los ojos.
Es primero el amor, la amistad, o la esgrima.

I sing your restless longing for the statue
your fear of the feeling that awaits you in the street.
I sing the small sea siren who sings to you
riding her bicycle or corals and conches.
But above all I sing a common thought
that joins us in the dark and golden hours.
The light that blinds our eyes is not art.
Rather it is love, friendship, crossed swords.

From: Oda a Salvador Dalí, by Federico García Lorca

Let the flowers grow wildly, follow their natural paths. It will be as it has to be, and it is as it is.

They'll grow over our heads, reach to the sky. Take me up there, I want to get higher whenever I'm in your arms, as I feel when you stroke my hair. I could lie there in your arms forever, just staring at the sky...

It'll be our own magical place, a place like home. It will be familiar every Spring, when the leaves come back to the trees again and the sun enlightens the world.

There will be flowers everywhere...

It will look like it's been there for a hundred years. Like it belongs there. Maybe it really does. We'll belong in that fairytale world, just like you belong in my arms and my heart belongs to yours.

Now, please, give me space to think, to speculate, to philosophize, and to rearrange my blurry mind. You messed it up completely, and therefore I love you.

Set me free, let me go whenever I feel like going. I need my freedom, I need fresh air to breathe. I wanna fall and tumble and fall again, but I don't want to touch the ground. Make me feel like I'm flying.

But above all, make me even happier than I already was. I can make my own base of luck, I can brew it in my mind, but I need you to complete it. For my own made luck will match your elixir or happiness, mixed up they'll make a sweet venom called love.

Let us search all the forests, the deserts, let us climb every mountain and we'll find all the treasures life made for us. They're there to be discovered.

Oh, what I would give to escape, to run away and explore.

There's gold in the air and diamonds in the water, and only you and me.

Isn't that enough?
Yes, it is. It's enough for forever.

With love,
Kirsten

Well on his way, his head in a cloud

The man of a thousand voices, talking perfectly loud.

But nobody ever hears him,

or the sound he appears to make

And he never seems to notice

But the fool on the hill sees the sun going down.

And the eyes in his head see the world spinning around.

- The Beatles -

I'm a fan

2011-05-26T18:50:00.000+02:00

I adore books. I'm not even sure why. The smell of paper, I think.
The stories which are in them. Stories of friendship, of misery, travels, love, anything.
Poetry, or journals. I've started one again a few weeks ago, and I find it really nice to put my thoughts and feeling out there on the paper, just to get them little clearer to me.
Images of unknown places, places where I've been and places I might visit one day.
I love to flip through books with lovely pictures and dream away, or with recipes and think what the food would taste like. Or to imagine how someone could even come to the idea of photographing something special.
Photography has a lot to do with love, I think. We take pictures of memorable things, things we don't want to forget, or things so pretty we want to show everyone.

Let's take a look at one of my very favorite photography books: Welcome by Anne Geddes. I think the way she sees children is amazing.

You are a marvel.
Each second we live is a new and unique moment of the universe, a moment that will never be again.
And what do we teach out children? We teach them that two and two make four, and that Paris is the capital of France.
When will we also teach them what they are? We should say to each of them: Do you know what you are? You are a marvel. You are unique.
In all the years that have passed, there has never been another child like you. Your legs, your arms, your clever fingers, the way you move.
You may become a Shakespeare, a Michelangelo, a Beethoven. You have the capacity for anything.
Yes, you are a marvel. And when you grow up, can you then harm another who is, like you, a marvel? You must work, we must all work, to make the world worthy of its children.
Pablo Casals

I love how children are so pure and innocent, but completely honest and carelss and the same time. How many stories have I heard of little children doing funny things.
They often don't even notice it themselves.
For an example, I once said to my uncle's boss, when she was visiting: "You have been here for a long time now, I think it's time for you to go!" or when my sister pressed her muddy hands to the walls of our new-built-garage, or as the two of us stepped into wet cement.
We watched our old home-videos again the other day, and all these funny moments made me smile so widely. It's strange, I can't even remember it, but it really happened.

I wonder what makes us forget and remember certain things. There are some things we'd rather forget, but these things always stay with me the longest. Fortunately, happy memories are more than sad ones. Eventually, it's always better to stay positive...

With love,

Kirsten

You say you will love me if I have to go.
You'll be thinking of me, somehow I will know.
Someday when I'm lonely, wishing you weren't so far away,
Then I will remember things we said today.
You say you'll be mine, girl, 'til the end of time.
These days such a kind, girl, seems so hard to find.
Someday when we're dreaming, deep in love, not a lot to say

Then we will remember things we said today.

- The Beatles

I wanna see sparkling lights

2011-05-21T16:17:00.001+02:00

I wanna feel the ambiance.
People. Lights. The smell of food.
I wanna see a sea of colors.
Attraction. Sensation. Madness.
I wanna hear the buzz of thousands of people and a beating disco sound.
Music. Nineties songs. Laughter.

A fair is a madness. All kinds of people go there, of all ages. Families, friends, couples.
You can go if you want a nice evening out, to ride the rollercoasters, to enjoy the ambiance, to take pictures and have fun.
The prettiest was to see how twilight started to set in. It grows darker every minute and the lights and colors get more and more intense...

I wanna know my future from side to side. I wanna hear stories of adventures, places, dreams, fairytales, and great love.
Tell me more, I wanna know....

I wanna turn around and around, I wanna feel dizzy in my head.

I wanna win the prizes, I wanna be the best.

I wanna feel like I'm tripping, I wanna see images which are not there. I wanna tumble in fields of imaginairy flowers and dance.

I wanna feel the blur.

I wanna get higher, I wanna look over the entire city like it's lying at my feet.

I wanna taste the taste of sweetness, I want to enjoy the colors.

And above all, I wanna be in your heart. I wanna keep you in mine, where you already are.

A fair, a party, a life, a love. It's like a drug to me. And I wish I weren't addicted.

With love,

Kirsten

All together now, all together now,
All together now, all together now.
Black, white, green, red,
Can I take my friend to bed?

Pink, brown, yellow, orange, and blue,
I love you.
All together now, all together now,
All together now, all together now,
Bom bom bom bom-pa bom
Sail the ship bom-pa bom
Chop the tree bom-pa bom
Skip the rope bom-pa bom
Look at me.

- The Beatles -

Ti amo Roma

2011-05-15T21:29:00.001+02:00

It was a lovely week.

A splendid sun burning on our shoulders and arms. Drinking water which comes from wells in the city. Laughter filling the air. Sneaking to the boys's rooms in the middle of the night. Smoking cigarettes out of the bathroom window secretly.

An enormous city. Ancient history is visible everywhere you go. Walks from early morning till late afternoon. Tired legs, blisters on our feet.

Art, lots and lots of art. The feeling of walking around in a theatre play wearing the wrong costumes. Buildings so high you can hardly see their top if you're right in front of them. Thousands of years of history.

Roma, the eternal city.

There's so much to see, and therefore there are so many pictures. I took almost 600 pictures, of us, of art, of everything. Let's take a look at the prettiest ones...

Of course we couldn't leave without throwing some coins into the Trevi-fountain...

Piazza Navona

Vatican City. I can't say I'm religious, but seeing all those people who are, who believe in their church so truly, really touched me somehow. Even the church itself, with all its art and decoration, was incredibly impressive...

Every detail looks so small in that huge building, untill you stand next to it...

St. Peter's Square

Chilling like a bunch of hippies next to the Angels & Demons obelisk.

The Vatican Musea

I wonder how much art there is... If you could buy it, what would the price be? I don't think anyone would have that amount of money.

School of Athens by Rafaël

The ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, painted by Michelangelo.

Forum Romanum

The Spanish Steps

Me, Lisa and Maud at the Colosseum.

Having fun at Ostia Antica, doing things which weren't allowed...

An antique jacuzzi? I have the funniest friends...

And then, according to the guys, they suddenly saw three goddesses...

Piazza della Republica by night...

Vicky is happy as a child with the ice-cream I owed her, for graduading in Spanish two years ago.
Congrats, Vicks!

After all, it's important to have fun, even when you're feet hurt and you're marching along the Tiber...

So we took a little break to take funny close-ups...

Castel Sant Angelo, with the Bernini sculptures on the bridge.

Paintings in the Santa Maria del Populo, by Caravaggio.

G is for Gelato!

It was an awesome week. My feet are still tense and I'm still tired. I'm wearin the I heart Roma sweater I (and almost everyone else) bought. I'll see everyone again tomorrow, in Latin class, and we sure will discuss everything over and over again. We'll be remembering like it was only yesterday. We're going to share all the pictures and remember how much fun we had. We'll be whining that we want to go back.

And who knows, we might even go... There's so many beautiful places to visit, so we're not finished travelling at all. Like I once read in a store, painted on the wall:

Nur Reisen ist Leben, wie umgekehrt das Leben Reisen ist:

The journey alone is living, as much as life is the journey.

- Jean Paul -

With love,
Kirsten

Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday

Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be
There's a shadow hanging over me
Oh, yesterday came suddenly

- The Beatles -

Arriverderci!

2011-05-07T15:43:00.000+02:00

Oh, I wonder what Rome will be like, and the best is that I'll know the answer to that in less than a day!

I got my list of things to pack finished, I shopped the last things I needed: mini-packages of shampoo, showergel, hairspray, plasters, some tops, a travel-diary, a pair of shoes - also in the Roman style, so it's a perfect match. My bags aren't packed yet, but I know what to take with me... Only problem might be closing the suitcase!

Okay, being honest, we won't have much time to stroll through the city and be pretty and glamourous, as we have an insane programm. Five churches on the first day only, and there's much more.
Fortunately, I love art, so I won't mind at all. I mean, the sun will be shining, the temperature will be nice, I'll have my friends with me, and these Roman art is really pretty, so what's not to like?
Also, I've read Dan Brown's Angels & Demons and I'm really inquisitive to the images behing that story.
Positive spirit!

Only thing is that I probably won't be able to use the Internet for a week, so I can't post. But don't worry, it's only till next Friday, and then I'll be back with my dreams, wishes, fantasies, hopes and thoughts to share and to enjoy reading or listening to yours.

And who would say no to a week full of sun, friends, gelato, handsome Italian guys and your friends?

I wouldn't, for sure!

So now, I should go packing my suitcase and get some rest... Department from home is at 3.00 tonight!

Stay sunny, stay lovely, stay you!

With love,

Kirsten

Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour.
Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour.
Roll up, we've got everything you need

Roll up for the mystery tour.
Roll up, satisfaction guaranteed

Roll up for the mystery tour.
The magical mystery tour is hoping to take you away,
Hoping to take you away.

- The Beatles

It's not always true that time heals all wounds.

2011-05-03T11:25:00.000+02:00

How dare you break my lonely heart?

And you dance on the pieces.

Being with you just tears me apart.

Not again, not again.

- Sunrise Avenue -

There's been danced on my shattered heart. People have been passing over and over it, and still it always got healed again.

I would never have imagined the four of us becoming such close friends.
We're sisters, and therefore we're born to be rivals, jealous, angry, sad, happy, funny together. It's always been inside us.
I sing for you when you're sad, my terribly singing cheers you up. You always get the dirty jokes immediately and explain them to me when I don't. I steal your clothes, you use mine.
We're making plans for summers when we'll be grown-up. We're discussing our future, what will it be like?
In fact, there's no one who knows me better than you do.

What do I do when my love is away?

Does it worry you to be alone?

How do I feel by the end of the day?

Are you sad because you're on your own?

No, I get by with a little help from my friends.

- The Beatles -

The thought that can always cheer me up: Eventually, I've been there, done that. The place will always be special to me. I've gotten used to the desperate longing to go back immediately. But back I'll go.
I left a piece of my heart right there.

No, this is not the time or the place for a broken-hearted

'Cause this is the end of the rainbow,

Where no one can be too sad.

Bye bye, Hollywood Hills.

I'm gonna miss you, wherever I go.

I'm gonna come back to walk these streets again.

Remember that we had fun together.

- Sunrise Avenue -

I feel a deep interest for art.
Written words, poetry, prose, stories.
Painted faces, drawn images. I can't imagine how people created some of the most beautiful things. I can only try my best to create the best of me.

Above, my favorite poem, written by Goethe, and came across in Blanes, Spain. It always gives me a lovely feeling whenever I read it.
It tells a soft summer day, glowing oranges, clear blue skies. And love. Especially love.
Down, a detail of a painting by Michelangelo, which has always held my affection, since I've been a little girl. Can't wait for my trip to Rome to see it myself...

So when I'm lying in my bed,

Thoughts running through my head,

And I feel that love is dead

I'm loving angels instead.

- Robbie Williams -

Flowers rise their heads again every morning when the sun comes up. Sunflowers even follow the sun.
Empty branches come to live again in Spring. Maybe we should take a look at that more often.

One day you'll look and see I've gone,
For tomorrow may rain so I'll follow the sun.
Some day you'll know I was the one,
But tomorrow may rain so I'll follow the sun.

- The Beatles -

Love brings the risk of being hurt. Like there would be no day without a night, there would be no happiness without pain. The people who are the closest to you, are able to hurt you the most. Not even on purpose, sometimes.
They also are able to make you feel so happy. I felt a bit moody yesterday, and then, one tiny thing happened and everything was alright again.
My best friends Anna and Jasmijn cheered me up, and they shared my happiness later, as we were sitting on a terrace and talking.
"Shall I heal your little broken heart?" and "I'm happy for you," some of the best things to hear.

Eventually, everything can be healed. Sometimes it only takes time, or some well-mixed cocktails. A good joke a friend made. A cute image in your head.

Standing on the edge of forever
At the start of whatever
Shouting love at the world.
Back then, we were like cavemen,
We’d beam at the moon and the stars,
Then we forgave them.

We will meet you where the lights are,
The defenders, of the faith we are
Where the thunder turns around they’ll run so hard we’ll tear the ground away.

You know no one dies, in these love town lies
Through our love drowned eyes, we’ll watch you sleep tonight.

Although no one understood we were holding back the flood.
Learning how to dance the rain.
We were holding back the flood they said we’d never dance again.

- Take That -

And we will dance again.

It's an ambiance.

2011-04-29T16:47:00.000+02:00

We like to enjoy little thing in life. A good glass of wine, a nice conversation and being together at dinner time. The wine flows abundantly and it's a nice evening.

Dinner starting out slowly with something fresh.

A sweet desert. Our fingers and lips are red and juicy and we slush each other's noses with whipped cream.

A glass afterwards, my own kitchy apron, thinking about things we did and said. It sure was fun.

We had a dinner at a teacher's house yesterday. We're going to Rome in two weeks with that very same group, all the students from my Latin class. Different people made a course, and I made the appetizer with Lisa, and the desert with Lisa and Yannick. We had fun cooking, and the result was pretty good, even though I'm the one to say.

I like everyone who is going, so it's certainly will be awesome, and Rome is said to be very beautiful, so I'm really seeing forward to it. I've never been there, so it's going to be a nice (and sunny, hopefully) surprise. We talked about the trip yesterday, we laughed, we drank wine (only one glass, of course), and then we did the dishes together.

It was such a nice night!

With love,
Kirsten

Roll up.
We got everything you need.
Roll up for the Mystery Tour.
Roll up.
Satisfaction guaranteed.
Roll up for the Mystery Tour.

The Magical Mystery Tour
Is hoping to take you away.
Hoping to take you away.

- The Beatles -

We are the children of the flowers

2011-04-24T14:23:00.002+02:00

Sunlight, fresh air, sweetness, happiness.
I adore flowers.
I feel so much affection for little children. They are the result of love (well, usually they are, I think these days more accidents happen).
I found my mother's Anne Geddes-book last week, as we were reorganizing our bookshelves. I didn't even know we had that book, but it is so incredibly pretty! She must love children, and I can't imagine how she even came to the ideas for some pictures.

I love smiling babies. It's not that I mind when they cry, but it's just so cute to see them laugh, and to hear the sounds they make! It makes my heart melt like a popsicle in the sun.
Must be nice to lie down in a bunch of roses like this, too...

(Images taken from the book Welcome by Anne Geddes)

My mother worked on the decoration of our house once again, as it's Easter. She took some flowers from our garden, which I really like. It gives a homey feeling to use flowers from the garden.
It reminds me of my childhood as I plucked flowers in the fields or in the garden, which my parents didn't always like. But they let me do it and smiled when I brought them a bouquet of grass with some flowers from the garden and left an almost empty plant in the garden and didn't mind when I ruined my new coat with the moist of dandelions.

This is my mother's latest gain: A painting of a French flowershop. The funny thing was that we both saw it seperately in the same shop, and then she told me she had seen a lovely painting and described it to me, and I said: "Hey I saw that too, it was really nice!"
She bought it last week and it's above our couch now, where it looks really nice.

Now, I think my parents could use some help in the kitchen. Surely, without me the entire dinner is going to be ruined...
No, kidding, but I think they'll like me to help, as I don't mind it because I like cooking.

Happy Easter!

With love,

Kirsten

Picture yourself on a boat on a river
With tangerine trees, and marmalade skies.
Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly
A girl with kaleidoscope eyes.

Cellophane flowers of yellow and green
Towering over your head.
Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes
And she's gone.

Follow her down to a bridge by a fountain

Where rocking horse people eat marshmallow pies.

Everone smiles as you drift past the flowers

That grow so incredibly high.

- The Beatles -

I never said I wanted to be famous

2011-04-19T20:07:00.001+02:00

But just imagine what it would be like...

Trips to every place I would like to go. People taking pictures of me as I get ouside. Buisiness class flights. People taking pictures of me and my boyfriend (which I don't have right now, but it comes with the image of being fabulous, of course). Romantic dinner in little cosy restaurants where no one could see us. Champagne. Wonderful suites in fabulous hotels in the middle of the city.

To all my fans,
With love from Paris,
Kirsten.

I would be sleeping in a bed filled with pearls.
I'd be able to create everything I wanted to, to make something. Even if it just was a difference...

My life would be made of diamonds and pearls, bright gemstones and sparkling wealth.
Diamonds are a girl's best friends would be my reality...

A house on the countryside, to fly away in the weekends and holidays. Escaping from the stress, enjoying the time on my own or with the people I love.

Taking a swim in my own private pool... Of course with a lovely gardenparty afterwards. Dancing with dried curls in the sun, a nice sound in the background, all my friends there, wearing see-through shawls wrapped around our hips and being together.
We're still the best friends.

Being able to buy whatever I want. Clothes, accessoiries, a lovely bag. Stylish photoshoots in the magazines. Vogue. Harper's Bazaar. Vanity Fair. Glamour. It's mine.

Gucci, Prada, Dolce & Gabbana, Valentino. Chanel, Vuitton, Louboutin.
Free samples. A bag named after me. A movie premiere, a red carpet and a wonderful dress. It always looks better with a bright smile, and I've always been able to take care of that at least.

Smiling is the key to beauty. It's healthy, and a healthy inside lights up the outside. So now my little tip:
Take a look in the mirror. Twitch your lips and pull them up as far as possible.

Show some teeth and smile, smile, smile!

See, that's not hard at all!
Next, try with your friends, that's way more fun.

With love,

Kirsten

They are gonna put me in the movies.
They're gonna make a big star out of me.
We'll make a film about a man that's sad and lonely
And all I gotta do is act naturally.

Well, I bet you I'm gonna be a big star.
Might win an Oscar, you can never tell.
The movie's gonna make me a big star,
'Cause I can play the part so well.

Well, I hope you come and see me in the movies.
Then I'll know that you will plainly see
The biggest fool that ever hit the big time
And all I gotta do is act naturally.

- The Beatles -

It's not much. But it's home.

2011-04-12T16:15:00.001+02:00

Long time no post, I know, but somehow, I just wasn't inspired, even though the sun shone. Maybe that was the reason, though, it was too lovely to stay in.
Today it's less sunny, it's been raining for a while, but the sun is starting to come out again.
Perfect for staying in, having a comfortable place to sit and write something, while listening to music. I randomly put on the CD-player and found my mother's ABBA CDs were in it, and it has a certain charm. I especially love the song Our last Summer, because it reminds me of love as it should be: easy, lighthearted and pretty. And I love the scene in Mamma Mia!, when Colin Firth sings it with his guitar on the boat.

But anyway, what I was getting at, was that I'm feeling pretty comfy here. I found the kitchen is a perfect place to be. I love the lightness of it, my sisters's mess that always lies around there and it can be as isolated as you want. Kitchens should have something homey in them, and I think ours does well on that.

I like being at home. I like living. Sometimes I can't wait to design my own place, to create a new home. But then again, the home I have right now is good enough, for now at least.

Home is where I live with my parents and my sisters, where we have fun, where we can sit in the garden, swim in the pool and where we have dinner together. It's where friends and family always have been and always will be welcome, no matter how many they are.

Home is where we sometimes have a total mess, which is not that strange, with six people living there. But we are all trying our best.

Home is where it is warm and soft, where I can hide under the covers, where I can sleep tightly and have the most beautiful dreams.

Home is where it is sweet, and where I know how to use the oven to practise in making perfect cupcakes, where the rooms are filled with the sweet smell of apple pie.

Home is where the little details make the picture complete.

It's where I don't mind walking around in my pajamas, with the shirt inside out, or with messy hair and no make up. They'll love me any way ;-)

Home also is where I'm on my best writing. I've written some things at other places, but it somehow feels too personal to use someone else's "space" for writing. I do best at home, I think, and who could ever feel sorry for that?

I wonder what my own house will be like in a few years. I wonder where I'm going to live, and with who. Of course, I do have some ideas/dreams/fantasies about that, but still...

I wonder if it will be like the place I live in now, or completely different. After all, I also felt great in Peru, which was nothing like home. People are flexible, is all I can conclude from that. And as long as I have friends with me, people I love, I will be able to make the best out of every situation.

It's the only thing we can do, isn't it?

With love,

Kirsten

I'd like to be under the sea,
In an octopus's garden in the shade.

We would be warm below the storm,
In our little hide away beneath the waves.
We would sing and dance around,
Because we know we can't be found.

I'd like to be under the sea

In an octopus's garden, in the shade.

- The Beatles -

Step into the sunlight

2011-04-03T22:58:00.000+02:00

It's incredible how fast weather changes here. It seems not even that long ago that it snowed all day long and we all hid under the covers in our beds.
Yesterday was a perfect April day, sunny and warm. My sister enjoyed the sun in her bikinis. The others had fun with buckets filled with water. Their noses are red and moulted. Our garden is starting to look the way I love it: filled with flowers and sun.

I adore the start of spring, for it always brings our magnolia tree back to life again. It's so beautiful, these white and pink toned flowers.

I adore flowers.

Pink is my favorite color!

It's almost Easter, and I'm going to make a lovely Easter flower arrangement with my mother and my grandma. We do that every year and it brings the house some lovely lightness.

We also bought about half of the gardencenter. It was fun, I love coming there. They have lots of nice home-decorations, which always inspires me. We had a shopping cart full of flowers, like a riding garden.
I think I'll go again this week, payday is tomorrow!

Maybe we should start a flower-nursery. My mom found this plant in a pot last summer, as it was very small. She placed it in a bigger pot and see what it has become! I like the thought of growing things, starting with something small and making it something big.
You can do it with anything:
A little amount of money can be invested in such a way it will make you rich.
A little seed eventually could become a tree.
Liking someone could become the romance and the rest of your life.
That is a nice thought, isn't it? Especially when you didn't expect it at first...

Falling in love always hits me when I least expect it. I usually don't really fall in love, but it's more like sliding. It usually needs time to grow, to become something more than the averige liking someone. As smooth as a bird flies, higher and higher...

Spring always means tingly feelings for me. I'm perfectly able to fantasize and feel like I'm in love the entire year, but spring always makes it stronger. Which is, to be honest, not always the best thing ever. But I just love the feeling, it's like a drug to me.

What could be better than the wonderful high of being in love, and what could be worse than the total agony of being in love?

According to me, nothing could.

With love,
Kirsten

I need to laugh and when the sun is out

I've got something I can laugh about

I feel good in a special way
I'm in love and it's a sunny day

Good day, sunshine!

- The Beatles -

Life is a fair, life is a circus, life is a story

2011-03-29T19:46:00.001+02:00

Hello there!

This weekend I managed to make some funny photos, using what we have at home and in the garden, and the images from some cooking books. It may sound funny, but you can find such amazing images in there. Most of these are from Jamie's America by Jamie Oliver, but I think any good book will do. It only has to contain some colorful images and it's going to be fine!

I wanted a crazy, colorful thing. I wanted to create the feeling of the blur you can feel when you're dancing and you've had too much to drink and the lights fade into colored lines. I wanted to create the ambience of a fair, the smell of candy flosses and caramel apples. Neon lights wherever you look. Disco music. Laughter.

I wanted something inspiring, too. Someting serious, but still light enough.

Now, if we combine these images with some words, if we combine my love for the visible details with my passion for the written words...

For my part, I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream in the same simple way as I dream about the black dots representing towns and villages on a map.

- Vincent van Gogh -

I don’t know if i picked that circus but something told me that circus picked me.

- Water for Elephants -

These violent delights have violent ends
And in their triumph die, like fire and powder
Which, as they kiss, consume.

- Williams Shakespeare -

Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like no one is watching.

- Mark Twain -

That was all for now. I think it's enough.

With love,
Kirsten

Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup,
They slither while they pass, they slip away across the universe.
Pools of sorrow, waves of joy are drifting through my opened mind,
Possessing and caressing me.

Images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes,
They call me on and on across the universe.
Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box,
They tumble blindly as they make their way across the universe

Nothing's gonna change my world,
Nothing's gonna change my world.

- The Beatles -

In the air.

2011-03-22T14:39:00.001+01:00

Hello!

Oh, I'm happy! I feel so much energy, and I feel bubbly and tingly and just good.
The sun is shining, and it's warm enough for this time of the year. Shortly said:
What a perfect start of spring!

I'm sitting in the conservatory with my laptop, and the sun is shining through the glass, and if I look out of the window, I can see the laundry swaying in the wind.
There even are some flowers outside! Daffodils and crocusses and some other things I can't name. I don't care what they are called, they are colorful and they are cute!

I've collected some spring-style images from my computer, and I'm going to make a spring-moodboard.
Let's take a look at the first pictures and what they mean to me...

My little sisters in the garden. I always enjoyed blowing bubbles when I was little, and sometimes, I still do it. I like to see how big a bubble can get before it bursts, or to see the sun shining through it and making it colorful!

Orchids. We have them all year through, but they are more beautiful now, the flowers are bigger and brighter. Something else which enjoys the sun, too!

Art, colors, fashion, Paris. A wonderful combination on itself, but Paris must be the best when everything is blooming. I really want to go there!

I can't wait for the smell of flowers! Roses, hyacinths, lillies, they all smell wonderful!

I feel like a little child, and once again, I feel the urge to run outside and tumble through fields with grass and flowers and fall down there with some nice persons.

Idea: I'm going to organise a picknick! That is so cool, we can all bring something to eat/drink, and a big plaid to sit on and then just find a lovely place and enjoy! Who's in?

Well, I guess I should go back to chemistry... The grades don't keep theirselves up (unfortunately).

Wish me luck for my exams and tests, and don't forget to enjoy the weather!

With love,

Kirsten

One day you'll look to see I've gone
For tomorrow may rain,
So I'll follow the sun.

Some day you'll know I was the one
But tomorrow may rain,
So I'll follow the sun.

And now the time has come
And, my love, I must go
And though I lose a friend
In the end you will know, oh.

- The Beatles -

In that order.

2011-03-15T18:31:00.000+01:00

Oh, darling.
Please believe me.
I'll never do you no harm.
Believe me when I tell you,
I'll never do you no harm.

Oh, darling.
If you leave me,
I'll never make it alone.
Believe me when I beg you,
Don't ever leave me alone.

Imagine there's no countries,
It isn't hard to do.
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion, too.
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace.

You may say I'm a dreamer,
But I'm not the only one
I hope some day you'll join us
And the world will be as one.

Before this dance it through,
I think I'll love you too.
I'm so happy when you dance with me.

I don't want to kiss or hold your hand.
If it's funny, try and understand.
There is really nothing else I'd rather do
'Cause I'm happy just to dance with you.

It's all true! And these three things, or goals, if you want, are just consequences of each other. If there was love for everyone, we would not fight, and from no fighting comes peace. And I think, that if at least we had peace, being happy would be so much easier for a lot of people. I'm just happy that I don't it hard at all to be happy - most of the time. But it's just part of the deal: I don't think it's reasonable to want to be happy all time. As the next quote says, translated: "Who doesn't allow autumn, will never make it to a spring."
Now that is beautiful, isn't it?

I guess that was it for now. Not too much to read, but plenty to see, and to listen. All credits for the songs go to:

- Oh, darling and I'm happy just to dance with you by the Beatles, and

- Imagine by John Lennon

It's quite amazing that I can always find one of their songs suitable for what I want to say right here. Like they would understand what I want to say here. Maybe they even would... We'll never know.

With love,

Kirsten

That does make me oh so happy

2011-03-09T13:48:00.001+01:00

Whirling around our bookshelves, seeing what is in the books, finding some inspiration. It's more a decoration than a shelve, it's covered with pictures, little statues, cards, everything.
Some things look like they totally don't belong there, but that makes it an interesting entity.

My old moodboard. Since my room has been renovated, I haven't put it back on the wall again, but I certainly will put it there again. This, too, contains a lot of loose elements, greeting cards, magnets, stickers, window-colours, tickets for concerts, autograph cards, anything I like to put there.

Making collages with images from magazines. I have an entire book full now.

Drawing. I like when you want to draw something and it works out well, when you can see what it has to be, and other people understand it.

Photography, my sisters, old anciency in one picture. I love taking pictures, seeing little details no one else sees. I love my sisters. I love seeing pictures in books about old times. Sometimes, I imagine living in that time, being rich, wearing this kind of dresses, and taking secret walks with my lover in the night.

Writing. This is a little part of the story I'm working on the most. I think writing is a perfect way of expressing myself. Words can have wonderful effects if you choose them well. If chosen really deliberately, they can make me smile, make me feel happy, or put a tear down my face.

Seeing what I've written here, I think this post is more about the crave to create things, something I've been feeling a really strong need for lately. I want to make things, and I don't care what it is, a story, a painting, a picture, a mess which is not a mess after all...

If we couldn't express ourselves, what would that be like? Do you know that feeling that you want to tell something, but you don't know how to say it? Would we feel like that all the time then?

That is something to think about, isn't it?

With love,
Kirsten

You say you want a revolution
Well you know
we all want to change the world
You tell me that it's evolution
Well you know
We all want to change the world
But when you talk about destruction
Don't you know you can count me out
Don't you know it's gonna be alright
Alright, alright

- The Beatles -

We're gonna party hardy!

2011-03-05T19:08:00.000+01:00

Tonight it's time for carnaval!
I am seeing forward to it so much, just going out, having fun with my friends, wearing a funny costume, dancing to stupid music...

This year I have a costume, which is called "Sexy Scarecrow," according to the label. As soon as I tried it on, I decided that sexy is not really meant for me, and that it's better to keep it on cute instead of sexy. I don't really mind.

As you can see, my younger sister does look pretty sexy... It's so unfair, look at her legs! She is more like a Barbie doll, and I'll always be your baby-doll... (:

We went to Cologne Tuesday, to go to some kind of carnaval-event there. I went last year, too, and it always is so much fun! The music there is way better than it is here and they have funny cabaret and great dancers. It's a wonderful ambience, in fact.
It was too bad that I already was kind of tipsy before it all had started, and that I had to stumble towards the bathrooms, holding myself on chairs and walls or my sister. I threw up in a plastic bag ( I know, bad, but I learned my lesson!), and stayed on water for the rest of the evening, and then it was all fine again.
Another time next year!

And I do have something nice to share with you! You might know I'm working on a story, which went pretty well so far (126 pages by now). But lately it seems like I have lost my inspiration, and I want to write, but it's like I can't. I can't find the words to say what I want to say, they never express it well enough.
But Thursday evening, I started working on a little poem, and that worked out pretty well! It's not the kind of thing I usually write, but I like it, it's light-hearted and easy.

I wish that I could write a story

But my inspiration feels so dead

So now that I can't write a story

I'll write this poem instead!

I write some words about this feeling

And just type straight away

But if it's good or really bad

Is something I can't say

My thoughts keep spinning round and round

And I want to tell them stop!

For the first time since I've started

I find writing is a quite hard job.

But I will find my inspiration back again

And realise it won't ever leave my mind

Now there you have a tiny thing

Of inspiration which makes it kind

One day I'll be a famous writer

And you will take a look

Read and say I must be a genius

For writing such a book!

Now, that was it... Let me know what you think about it! ;-)

Now, do you have any plans for Carnaval? Are you going out, or staying at home? Do you love it, or do you wish it is over as soon as it starts?

Tell me, and enjoy Carnaval responsibly! (I can tell from my own experiences that it's not a good idea to mix up all the drinks and keep drinking Cosmo's, Flügel, wine and beer)

With love,
Kirsten

Please, sir or madam, can you read my book?
It took me years to write, will you take a look?
It's based on a novel by a man named Near
And I need a job, so I want to be a paperback writer.

Paperback writer!

If you really like it, you can have the right
You can make a million almost overnight
If you must pretend, you can send it in
But I need a break, and I want to be a paperback writer.

- The Beatles -

It's been a long cold lonely winter

2011-02-27T19:54:00.001+01:00

I'm getting pretty done with this cold, wet, dark weather we are having over here... I really hope the sun will come out soon again and that it will become a little warmer so we can enjoy being outside instead of wishing we were inside again. To me, everything seems easier when the sun is shining. Then, you can always think: "At least the sun is shining!" when you have a bad day.
Now we would be more likely to say: "This is not how I want it, that could be better, and even the weather sucks!"

Understand the difference?
The sun smells so good, too. It smells like warmth and dust and grass and flowers, and something else I can't name. But I think you understand what I mean, and if not, try it this way:
Lay down in the sun, on a towel in the grass and close your eyes. Stay there for a while, feel the sun warming your skin, and then you should be able to smell the sun on your skin. It's a lovely thing for sure.

Mentioning it, I realise I always make little luck-lists: Things that make me happy and cheerful. Here are some of my little luck moments for spring:

- Butterflies! I use to draw them when I'm bored during class, and I really hope they'll show up again soon so I can take pictures of them. I love the one beneath, a classmate made it and it really has some charm. Never thought he would do photography, so it was a little surprise...

- Flowers! You probably know it by now, but I love flowers. I can't even tell why exactly. A friend of mine asked me what it is with girls and flowers, and I couldn't really answer him. It's something with colours and the softness they have in them.
Last week I found that flowers sometimes express things better than words. I was at a funeral, and the usual things were said, but it never seems really good enough to say what you feel then. And there were some lovely bouquets which, according to me, showed that better.

- Being in the garden, grass beneath my bare feet, flying birds, polished toenails in flipflops, the ability to use the swimming pool without freezing to death. Little things, but good enough for me.

- Spring fling! How could I ever forget about that. Lentekriebels, as we say it. Lovely word, it could be more than just being in love. It could be the need to run outside, to turn and turn and turn around in a circle, get dizzy and fall down in the grass. It could be the smile on your face when you see the sun coming out. And sure, it could be that special feeling when you see a certain person...

Maybe I'm in love again. It's not for sure and it certainly isn't the best idea I've ever had, but I don't really have a choice. Love hits spontaneously, and then there is not much we can do about it. Fortunately. 'Cause, if we could, the magic would be gone...

I'll see how it's going to work out for me. I'll wait, I'll dream, I'll hope, I'll never loose my trust in love.

With love,

Kirsten

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter

Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun

And I say it's all right

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces

Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun

And I say it's all right

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting

Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,

And I say it's all right

It's all right

- The Beatles -

Happy birthday to me...

2011-02-23T09:01:00.000+01:00

Yes, it is my birthday, oh yeah, aha!
Yes I'm fin'lly 17, oh yeah, aha!

Okay, just a short message because I just could not not do it.
Yes, today is my 17th birthday, and that's all I wanted to say.
And if I could, I would send all of you a cupcake... Made them yesterday with Jasmijn, and we had great fun.
Hope today will be as much fun! I really wonder what my parents and sisters are going to give me... Exciting!

Thanks to all my readers for taking the time to read my stories and leave such wonderful comments and reactions... I love you all.

With love,

Kirsten

I would like you to dance (Birthday)

Take a cha-cha-cha-chance (Birthday)

I would like you to dance (Birthday)

Dance

You say it's your birthday

Well it's my birthday too, yeah

You say it's your birthday

We're gonna have a good time

I'm glad it's your birthday

Happy birthday to you.

- The Beatles -

I wonder when life has ever been that easy

2011-02-22T00:46:00.000+01:00

I once read a quote in a magazine, saying: "Love should not be difficult."
It made me think about some things. I don't think that there could be any words I believe in stronger. For my opinion, love really shouldn't be hard at all. Loving people should be as easy as thinking, or staring up at a clear blue sky, as natural as breathing.

That's why I sometimes don't understand people saying it's difficult to be in a relationship. Maybe it's just me, but if it gets too hard, something seems to be wrong to me. Sure, nothing always is easy, but I think it should be easy most of the time.

As easy as feeling the sun burning on your skin... I just remember what it felt like, being in the Peruvian sun. It's like nothing else, but it was so good to do it, so natural and wonderful.

As easy as flowers! I love flowers, they are delicate and colourful and so pretty and innocent...

As easy as being proud when you've reached a top after working towards it so hard...

As easy as enjoying a splash of water in a hot sun with the ones you could never live without...

Life should be easy, but it can't always be.

We all need to have our personal package of misery, it makes us to who we eventually are.

We can't skip unpleasant things, but we always have a choice.

We can choose how we want to deal with it.

You can either start feeling miserable and sad, or you can decide to take what you have, and choose do work it out.

Never give up on it, we can all manage a lot more than we think we can.

With love,

Kirsten

Drove from Paris to the Amsterdam Hilton,

Talking in our beds for a week.

The newspaper said, "Say what you doing in bed?"

I said, "We're only trying to get us some peace".

Christ you know it ain't easy,

You know how hard it can be.

The way things are going

They're gonna crucify me.

Made a lightning trip to Vienna,

eating chocolate cake in a bag.

The newspaper said, "She's gone to his head,

They look just like two gurus in drag".

Christ you know it ain't easy,

You know how hard it can be.

The way things are going

They're gonna crucify me.

- The Beatles -

(life should be as easy as loving their easy, cheerful and lovely songs, too)

The day after...

2011-02-15T18:03:00.002+01:00

Yes, it was all around again. It creeps up when February starts, it becomes worse and worse every day, and CLANG!, it hits you right in the face.

Okay, I'll admit it: I'm not a great fan of Valentine's Day. I went downtown with my sister this weekend to do a little shopping, and you just see it everywhere. It's all pink and red hearts and roses and gifts and jewels and special things.
My mailbox got stuffed with offers of almost every company, offering "Special Valentine's stuff!"
Did I ask for special Valentine's stuff? Guess not.

And suddenly, it seems a problem you're single. The entire thing just reminds you that you're lonely if you don't have a date for Valentine's day.
"Any plans for Valentine's Day?"
"Uh, I think I'll just spend the evening at home, doing homework..."
And then they look at you like you're a sad, tragic person.
I got some news for you: We're not! ^^

The biggest problem is, I think, that it has gotten too commercial. It's become a way of making money and selling products.
Here you got a slight impression of my mailbox from the last weeks, so you can see it yourself.

See what I mean?
Sure, all lovely stuff, but wouldn't it be much more fun if someone bought if for you when you least expect it? And wouldn't it be slightly uncomfortable if we all bought each other iPods or diamond rings and expensive things?
Money can't buy us any love, eventually. Love should be earned by a person's being, and not by his ability to buy fancy things, right?

Happy after-Valentine's Day everyone!

(by the way, I've gotten curious... what did you do yesterday? Gotten any roses, or secret, anonymous love declarings? Let me know, let me know, let me know!

And I'm proud to tell you that I didn't get anything yesterday, so I'm the real lonely loser here, but I don't mind that.

Let's just say, that all we need is love, money can't buy me love, but I'll always get by with a little help from my friends.

With love,

Kirsten

Say you don't need no diamond rings, and I'll be satisfied
Tell me that you want the kind of things, that money just can't buy
I don't care too much for money
Money can't buy me love

Can't buy me love, everybody tells me so
Can't buy me love, no no no, no

- The Beatles -

Bubbly, dreamy, happy, lovely

2011-02-11T21:24:00.000+01:00

Today at school, I had a conversation about dreams. I was hanging out with some guys from my class, having fun, and someone said I looked so happy. I was happy, so he was right, but he was in some kind of sad mood and said he was in for destructing air castles and dreams.
I told him not to burst my happy-bubble. Then he started poking in the air, like he was trying to burst it, but it didn't work (good). And in fact, someone else, who was standing beside us, and we made a bigger happy bubble (even better!)
Then we started talking about dreams, and I told them my life was a dream. Living the dream, the best we can do.

Now, my idea: We should all build air castles together, share happy dreams and love and we would all be a lot happier!

Starting it now, I want to share something lovely with you:

I downloaded the movie Nowhere Boy this week, and didn't know what to expect. I knew it was about John Lennon before he became a Beatle, so it ought to be interesting.
I love the Beatles, and the reviews were pretty positive, and I'm glad to say that the movie didn't disappoint me at all. It was really interesting to see how funny and rebelish he was, and I liked the old clothing and the music in the movie.
It's mostly music from Elvis, which everyone admired then, and The Quarrymen, the first band John Lennon founded, together with Pete Shotton, Eric Griffiths, Bill Smith and Rod Davis. After their first performance, they met Paul McCartney and George Harrison, and they joined too. The rest is history. It's all visible in the movie.

And they all have such a funny accent in the movie! There is that moment when John walks into the boys' bathroom and tells his friend he is starting a rock 'n roll band, and it goes like this:
"You've bin pick'd to be in me bend!"
Just amazing.
And when his principal is mad and tells him he's going nowhere, he says: "Is nowhere for the geniuses, sir? Then I probably do belong there."
Well, in case nowhere really is for the geniuses, he absolutely belongs there, no doubt!

Even though the movie has an open ending, which I usually don't like, I really enjoyed the movie. Maybe it has something to do with the fact we all know how it ended.

Now, of course I have a new celebrity-crush on Aaron Johnson, who plays John Lennon. I want a rock 'n roll-boyfriend! ^^

( I really feel like I've been born in the wrong decade...)

No, but seriously: Go see the movie. It's super.

With love,

Kirsten

I'll look after you
Like I've never done before
I'll keep all the other
From knocking at your door

In spite of all the danger
Spite of all that may be
I'll do anything for you
Anything you want me to
If you'll be true to me

In spite of all the heartache
Thay you may cause me
I'll do anything for you
Anything you want me to
If you'll be true to me

- The Quarrymen -

Give me something I've been wanting

2011-02-05T20:40:00.000+01:00

Do you know that feeling? It tells you you want to leave, you got to go, and that there's something big and wonderful waiting for you. You feel misunderstood, underestimated and not at your place. Even though there are so many people around you, you feel lonely.

Whenever I feel like that, the only thing I do is dreaming away. I dream of an exciting life, of people who understand me completely, of new things to discover, sights to see, sounds to hear, tastes to taste or feelings to feel. I dream of flying, of running away, right into an adventure. An adventure for everyone!

I dream of warm sand, a hot sun, salt seas, soft winds, rushing waves. I dream of soft kisses, happy feelings and sweet love. I dream of laughter, funny people, whirling parties, swaying dresses, wild dances. I dream of lovely cities, luxury shops, the smell of new shoes. I dream of written stories, read books, the smell of paper and coffee.

Then again, I remember the great times I've had with the people I love. I remember what it feels like when we're dying with laughter, like last Friday, when we were making up funny sayings. I remember what it felt like to be with the Peruvian people in Ayacucho, or to see Machu Picchu. I remember the story I'm working on, special parts of it. I remember looking my friends in the eyes and knowing that we're sharing the same thought.

The only thing which lasts me to do, is taking a bright lipstick, putting it on and smiling to myself in the mirror.

I am privileged. I am happy. I have everything I need.

I might be different, or strange, and I don't have the most exciting life you might be able to imagine.

But who knows, it might be waiting for me...

All we need, is some faith, some fantasy, lots of love and a little hint of luck, and we could do everything we wanted to do.

With love,

Kirsten

I know the light ain't always upon me

Sometimes the night takes me inside it

Destiny, destiny...

Give me something I've been wanting

Take my feelings to the sky

Give me something I've been wondering

Give my feelings wings to fly

Destiny is to be by your side

- Sunrise Avenue -

Schooltrip Day!

2011-02-01T00:33:00.001+01:00

Hey!

Last Friday, we went to Antwerp, Belgium on a schooltrip. I already told about it, as we actually were planning to do that before the Holidays, but it got cancelled because of all the snow.
Well, there was no snow Friday! It was freezing cold, but the sun did shine and it was pretty nice weather. It was the kind of day on which every breath you take feels like inhaling toothpaste and the air is prickly and fresh. I actually love that kind of days, it reminds me of Disneyland...
Once again, I had the greatest fun with my friends. Almost everyone in my class is nice, so it's not hard to enjoy being with them. I don't like stereotyping people, or behaving stupid towards people with no reason, so I talk with/to everyone and I can have fun with everyone I like everyone! ;D
I'm in a very happy mood right now, if you hadn't noticed yet. Everything and everyone seems lovely and nice to me right now!

So, first some impressions of what we did Friday... We did that multicultural walking, which was fine, it only was too bad it was so cold, my toes felt like they were totally frozen!

Me and Yannick ^^
Gee I feel so tiny... Why are all these boys always so tall? It's rather unfair, I always have to look up if I want to have a conversation with them...

Geert is our new Rock 'n Roll God. And I am his agent! Isn't that totally cool? It's a great thing he already knows how to do his "Rockstar-on-coke"-look, he doesn't have to practise that.

Asha, Priscilla, Dide, Fleur, Lisa, Sammy. Love Sammy's coat.

Some sweet Belgian flowers...

This could be reason enough to like the city... Diamonds are a girl's best friend!

Chilling out and warming up again at Starbucks... What would be a better place? According to some guys in my class, I have a sixth sense, which would be my "Where to find a Starbucks"-sense. It isn't even that hard, you just have to look properly and you'll find them easily.

Having fun with our Happy Meals... I hadn't had one for so many years, it was totally funny. There were Hello Kitty toys in it! My little sister liked that, too...

And well, as were here, we could do a little shopping just the same...
Of course it took more time than we thought, but two hours is just too short, so we arrived slightly late at the place we had to collect. But we had some reasons for it!

New underwear <3 cute and sweet and lacy, just like I like it... Remember what I wrote about cute underwear in my last post? It's true!

I absolute fell in shoppinglove with this Vespa-charm. I just had to buy it! I love Vespa, and I love jewels, so it's a wonderful combination, isn't it?

Butterflies! I want it to be spring soon, so I can wear it. I want it to be spring soon anyway, I'm pretty much done with the cold. Who wouldn't?

So, shortly said: We had loads of great fun!

I want more schooltrips. It's fun and it's nice to be somewhere together without being in a boring, cold classroom.

But now, as it's getting pretty late, I guess that will be it for today. Hope you liked it ;-)

There's only one thing I couldn't let be unseen... Even Rock 'n Roll Gods need their naps now and then...

Sweet dreams!

With love,

Kirsten

We're gonna get it all started
Because the night is young
The light is out the door
Today was crazy but
Tonight the city's ours
Live it up, until the morning comes
Today was crazy but tonight
The city is our, our, ours.

- Big Time Rush -

P.S.: If there are some people who need the rest of the pictures, you can find them here:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=10233&id=100000951168916&l=0cf971edfe

It should work if you're not on facebook, too (especially for Fleur ^^)

Something screaming to be found

2011-01-25T15:56:00.000+01:00

Happiness... it's pretty hard to define. It's a feeling, but what exactly?
It can be found in every little thing, from a smile someone gives you, to a song on the radio, or just something you like.

Happiness can be inside a little flower!

Happiness can be in a good and healthy living and juicy fruits!

Happiness definitely is in taking a nice break sometimes! And no one would dare to take the coffee/chocolate/cupcakes away from you ;-)

Happiness can be in nice lacy lingerie with ribbons and flowers and cute details...
Feel sexy, feel happy baby!

Happiness must be in the D&G spring/summer collection. It's totally adorable and I want it.
I NEED some floral things and bohemian style and I WANT THE RIGHT DRESS!

Some other things that make me very happy:

- The sun that shines, flying butterflies, flowers that bloom, blossoms that gloom...
- My friends and my family. Sometimes I suddenly see again I have the most lovely friends I could wish for. They're there for me and they're funny and we have fun!
- Creating things. Doesn't matter if it's a story, a poem, a cupcake, a picture or a huge mess, creating feels totally good!
- Music!
- Fashion!
- Travelling and being away from home
- Coming home after a trip...
- L'amour... mais bien sûr!

What more could I say? Happiness can be and should be found in the little things at first. If you can't see it there, how will you find it in the huge things?

Happiness. It's closer than you might think it is...

With love,

Kirsten

Better for worse, to rain or shine                                               Happiness is a warm gun
Now you're mine, it brings me happiness Happiness is a warm gun
Happiness happiness                                                                  When I hold you in my arms
You call me dear and hold me close                                           And I feel my finger on your trigger
Give sweet love and it glows I know no one could do me no harm
Happiness happiness happiness                                                 Because happiness is a warm gun
You are the one, you bring me happiness                                  Yes it is.

-Sunrise Avenue-    - The Beatles -

My imagination takes me everywhere

2011-01-21T13:01:00.000+01:00

Aloha!

Woohoo, I've finished the first four school exams! Only five to go now, so if we all keep the positive spirit up, it will be fine and over before we will notice.
I came across a leaflet of a travel agency yesterday, and I started wondering about places to go and holidays. I definitely want to go away after my graduation for some weeks, but I don't know where to go...
I always said I wanted to go to New York after graduation, and I still consider it as one of the options. New York must be awesome and I absolutely want to go there once in my life.
I also could go back to Peru... Not a single day passes without me thinking about Peru and everything we experienced there, and I long for that time. But maybe it would be better to go back there when I'm older?
Japan would be cool, too. I would love to see Tokyo and all its craziness!
Or Australia... It must be so incredubly beautiful there, but it's a very big country, and my mother won't let me go backpacking, because that is "dangerous," according to her.
The last destination going through my mind is some tropical island, like the Maldives or Bora Bora. Have you ever seen pictures of that? It's all clear blue seas, pale white beaches, palmtrees, cloudless skies and lovely resorts...
Me loves!

See, I can just image myself lying there in the hot sand, having a drink from a real coconut and reading a nice book, or swimming in the sea. I think I'll start saving money next year... ^^

I only need someone who would join me, and I have no idea of who would be a good choice.
I think it depends on the place to go. I wouldn't mind to go to New York on my own, but lying on the beach on your own for three weeks is just plain boring. If it would be Peru I would ask some of my Global Exploration friends, as we all want to go back and they understand what it's like.
So, first looking for a destination, which will be really hard. There are so many wonderful places to see, and I want to see them all. Every single country, every sight there is to see. I wished I could see them all, but fortunately we have pictures of almost everything to make it easier.
So my little tip:
Find a picture like the one above, of a lovely place.
Imagine someone to be there with.
Take your iPod and put on some relaxed music.
Close your eyes and go wherever you want to go...

It's all in you, you just have to let it flow!

Inspiration. Imagination. Fantasy.

With love,

Kirsten

Du kannst in die Ferne fliegen,

Durch die Mongolei

in tiefste Tiefen tauchen

Fühl Dich frei

Das Universum dehnt sich aus

Du kannst die Gipfel erklimmen

zu allen Inseln schwimmen

In Deinem Herzen bin ich sowieso dabei

Denn ich bin immer Dein Zuhaus

- Ich & Ich -

Surviving on...

2011-01-18T21:28:00.000+01:00

Coke, lots of coke (the drink, right, not the drug), coffee and energy-drinks. And eventually on biological sleeping pills.
Oh, I feel so tired. The strange thing is, when I finally lie in my bed, I can't sleep... Therefore the sleeping pills.
My school exams haven't even started. How will this end?

It partly is my own fault: I should tell them at my work I can't deal with three evenings working every week, and doing homework afterwards. I actually wanted to tell them, but of course, when you need someone, everyone is busy.
Everyday I'm learning, studying, working.
After the SE-week, I'm going to have a party! We all deserve that.
Tomorrow's biology exam: 6 chapters. 160 pages. Sleepless nights. It's a very good thing we have Binas, there is a lot of information in there.
Thank God for Binas!

So I think that now I'll have my tea, a shower and then all I want to do is sleep. Sleep for a 100 years if I could, and then gotten kissed awake by a handsome prince. That would be a lovely solution!
I envy Sleeping Beauty!
(it's worse than I thought... Envying a fictional character?)

Fortunately, I have one very big help while studying: The entire The Beatles Remastered Collection on my computer.
While I study, I listen to their happy and cheerful songs and it is so much easier!

How would we survive without music?

With love,

Kirsten

When I wake up early in the morning

Lift my head, I'm still yawning

When I'm in the middle of a dream

Stay in bed, float upstream

Please don't wake me

No, don't shake me

Leave me where I am

I'm only sleeping

- The Beatles -

Yay!

2011-01-15T17:31:00.000+01:00

Sometimes, a picture says a thousand words.
I think that's true for these. There are no words needed to explain what we did and celebrated yesterday.
Finally they got married...

Congratulations!

I made a new friend there! This is baby Markus, isn't he totally adorable? (and before we are getting any misunderstandings, it's not MY baby, don't be worried)

Don't forget our we-want-to-catch-the-bouquet-video!

Let's dance, dance, dance all night...

2011-01-11T19:43:00.003+01:00

Hey!

As you might know, last Friday we had our New Year's Gala from school. It wasn't at the same location as last year, and there was completely different atmosphere than last year, but it certainly was super great fun! I think it was because I have such great people around me I could spend the night with.
We danced all night long, had some drinks, talked (shouted, I should say) and sang/screamed along with the music.
Of course everyone looked gorgeous. All these boys in their nice suits with ties and jackets, it looks totally cute and so sexy. I kind of have a crush on boys in suit.
And the girls wore lovely dresses, or wonderful jewels, cute bags, great shoes, or a combination of it. It's so nice to see everyone in a different outfit once, with party makeup intsead of their jeans and shirts.
Everyone was making each other compliments: "Nice dress!", "Lovely hair!", "Oh God I love your necklace!" or "You are looking so good! You should wear a suit more often!" and it was really nice and wonderful.

I litterally crept to my bed that night, my feet hurt so much, you probably can't imagine. I think it was due to the heels I wore, the dancing, the broken glasses on the floor and some people (only one person, actually... I won't be calling any names) jumping on your feet when they're dancing. As I suppose it was an accident, I won't be mad. I didn't really feel it anyway, as my feet were already senseless.
But man, I had such a great night!

Down here are some pictures to give you an impression of my friends, me, some drinks and lots of fun!

My party outfit and styling (done by my sister Tjorven, she loves doing my hair and makeup for parties)
I totally love the little purse, it's a perfect match to the dress, which I loved as well. The champagne-tint is nice, it's something else than the common black or dark blue.

Maud and I. We always have the biggest fun together, as Maud and I always talk about teachers or other people (not that bad, we never say really mean things!)

Smile, girls! Maxime, Sammy, Fleur and me, showing our shiny teeth.
And Antwan's look on the background is so funny, just perfect...

Me and Jeroen, one of my oldest friends. We litterally used to make mud-pies together.

An impression from above. I love searching people I know in these images. I see... Fleur and her boyfriend Jessy, Jari, Marthijn, Dennis, Lisa, Benedikt and Killian, and myself so far.

If I were Gossip Girl, I would see a Lonely Boy in there... But as I'm just Kirsten, I see Jori who looks like his date didn't show up, or he's thinking really deep.

Or cutest, latest new couple! Lorenzo and Mirella, give them an "aaaahw..."!

We have the tree J's in a row!
Jari, who apparently thinks one beer at a time isn't good enough.
Jessy, who should better have stopped drinking at the moment this picture was taken.
And Jens, who still looks quite properly. So easy to find the real "gentlemen" at a party...

Jean-Paul (totally tipsy), Danny (I'm so cool-attitude), and Jesse (one way or another, always charming, even when drunk or whatever)

We can't take this one serious, can we?
Well it's a good thing Pieter looks rather cheerful (who wouldn't after the 15 beers he told me he had had).
I just completely wonder what Kamiel is thinking, he looks like he's having a pretty hard time keeping a laughter in - would that be strange, with Pieter standing next to him?
We'll probably never know...

Come on there's a party tonight!

Oh, how I wished there were more school parties! It doesn't have to be gala parties, because it wouldn't be special anymore then, but just, a plain nice party with nice music, dancing, drinks and my friends, it would be great! We usually don't have much time to see each other after school like this, so it would be a great way to get to know everyone better and differently... Maybe I should get into the party-commission?

And a new day, a new dream:

Next year, I'm going to bring a date... (lol)

What about you? Crashing the party on your own, or rather with your friends, or do you definitely need a date to go? (don't be too dependant, guys!

Tell me ;-)

With love,

Kirsten

Before this dance is through

I think I'll love you too

I'm so happy when you dance with me

I don't wanna kiss or hold your hand

If it's funny try and understand

There is really nothing else I'd rather do

'Cause I'm happy just to dance with you

I don't need to hug or hold you tight

I just wanna dance with you all night

In this world there's nothing I would rather do

'Cause I'm happy just to dance with you.

-The Beatles-

Time keeps passing away

2011-01-07T16:58:00.000+01:00

Just one very quick post today, as I'm so busy I should remind myself to keep breathing!

I just got home from school, and I just changed my clothes to go to my tennis course at 17.00. I am really seeing forward to it, because I totally love playing tennis and the girls from my team.
After that, I will have to go to my grandparents, we are having dinner there tonight, and then I have to go home, take a shower, change clothes again, do my make-up and my hair, polish my nails for the New Year's Gala from school!
Love the new year's gala!
I managed to find a lovely dress, it's champagne-coloured, but I will post a picutre of it later, as my mom is running in to drop me at the tenniscourse...

Busy busy busy!

I want to be able to stop the time!

Wish me luck!

With love,

Kirsten

Happy new year everyone!

2011-01-01T15:19:00.000+01:00

Of course I wanted to wish all of you a very happy new year!
Hopefully you all had a nice New Year's Eve! I spent mine with my family, just comfortably at home. I wanted to go to a friend, but I was so tired (I had to work from 8.00 till 16.00) and the roads were kinda dangerous for driving, so I stayed at home. It was nice, the neighbors had some firework and I took a few pictures of that, as you can see.

Now that 2010 has ended and 2011 has started, it's a perfect time for some looking back and some looking forward.

2010 has brought me the most wonderful experience in my life: Peru.
It was so good for me to do what I did there, what we did there, and I think it changed me as a person. I still like shopping and nice luxury things, but when I feel sad, I remember which way people there had to live there, and how friendly they were, and then I realise how privileged we all are.
And since I'm back, I haven't had a single fight with my dad... We used to have a discussion almost every day. But it definitely is a good thing we're getting along with each other even better now.

Honestly I have to admit that 2010 wasn't the best year ever, but I think Peru makes it up for a very big part. I wanna go back!

And now, 2011.. I hope it's going to be a great, lovely and wonderful year. Of course, there will be some problems, but problems are to be solved, aren't they?
In any case, I already made a lot of plans for the next year:

- Going on writing stories

- Having lots of fun with my friends and my family

- Going to a lot of places where I've never been before (I NEED to go to Paris... I read about the WONDERFUL and amazing vintage-shops there, like Didier Ludot. They sell vintage Chanel and Dior and Vuitton! I really have to see it! And besides, I've never been there, it must be so pretty there, and it's not that far away)

- Celebrating my 17th birthday next February (hurray, only two months!)

- Going to the gym more often (of course)

- Being nice and friendly to everyone (except for a few exceptions, then)

- Getting my mom feeling better again

- And having even more fun with all the people I love!

Now, what about you? Have you made some plans for the new year?

Let me know about them ;-)

With love,
Kirsten

Ambiance, presents, closeups, snow...

2010-12-29T21:38:00.000+01:00

Hi!

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!
I did, it was so nice to spend the evening with my family and to give each other presents and have fun together.
I had enjoyed buying everyone presents, and I bought everyone something they liked, I think. Tjorven and I bought an ice-machine for our parents, so now we can make our own ice-cream!
Though right now, there is enough ice (and snow) outside, on the streets...
Here you see a streetview of our street, it could be the North Pole, if you ask me (though I've never been to the North Pole, so I'm not sure what it looks like there)

See, it's crazy! I already fell down three times, last week twice in a row. I fell, I laughed my ass of, I got up, walked two steps and fell down again. Oops...

And I also got nice presents! And sooo many presents! It's incredible, I didn't even asked for something specific. But I guess it's because I have a big family, everyone gets a lot of presents, but we also have to buy a lot. But I don't care.
As you can see, I got my Pip-studio schoolbag! It's so cute! I also got a cardigan, jewels, books, a DVD, a pillow, pictureframes, make-up pencils and a lovely bowl. I always wanted that bowl, every time we came at IKEA, I loved it more, and now I finally have it!
Hurray!

Hurray, I have my Eclipse-DVD... Too bad Robert Pattinson didn't came with it, but at least I can watch the movie now ^^

Are you already making plans for New Year's Eve? Tell me!

With love,

Kirsten

A very merry Christmas

And a happy new year

Let's hope it's a good one

Without any fears.

John Lennon and Yoko Ono - Merry Christmas, war is over

There's something about Christmas time...

2010-12-23T13:06:00.001+01:00

Oh, I hope we are finally getting a white Christmas this year!
Wouldn't that be wonderful?
Though snow is cold, sticky, wet and not really comfortable to move through, it looks so cute, this white, fluffy cuteness definitely has something about it.
Now, Christmas...
My mother decided our colour-theme is silver/white/red this year, and I have to say that I like it. We have silver in the tree, and then red candles, ribbons and these lovely red amaryllis (I just found out they're also called Belladonna Lily, and I like that name more). It's almost see-through here, so it has some delicate air.

Yesterday, I bought all the presents for my family, which was a BIG thing, because I also have a BIG family (parents, three sisters, me, grandparents, and three uncles and three aunts this year), but I had great fun and I think I bought them presents they will like.
It also is very crowded at my work now, but it's a nice kind of crowdiness. Everyone buys lots of food for the Christmasdays, and everyone is friendlier, and we offer them Christmas-candy and they like it, so it's definitely a good mood there.
And I just found out I received a Christmas-card from the managers of the supermarket I work in, which is very sweet of them I think. It does give you some extra feel-good-boost to go to work.

Now, presents... Here's my wishlist!

First, I have to say, anything nice and shiny will do. Nice jewels or something.
Also on the list:

A Pip-studio schoolbag. I like these the most, but any other is fine too, all of them are cute.

One of this cupcake-bags! A friend of mine spotted them when he went to school, and he told me he thought I would like them. Well, I do, indeed! Especially the blue one, so I have to find the shop and buy me one!
Good job, even more if we consider the fact that it's a guy who spotted them. I didn't know men had eye for things like this...

This Beatle-shirt. Absolutely cool, got to get it someway... Probably not for Christmas though, but I'm having my birthday in February, so maybe it would arrive in time for my birthday?

Some cute decorations for my room. Anything will do - pillows, candles, picture-frames, artworks, just everything! And these Russian dolls are so cool!

Movies, CD's, DVD's, books... Love it all. Eclipse is on my list, and I would not mind at all if Robert Pattinson stopped by to give it to me personally. I probably would get myself another thing for Christmas then... (a BOYFRIEND! XD)

And now... No, I don't want a puppy-dog.
Guess what this image stands for?
Just right, LOVE!

Now, anyone who wants a cute, decorated gingerbread-doll?

Have a merry Christmas and wonderfull days!

With Love,

Kirsten

There's something about Christmas time

Something about Christmas time

Which makes you wish it was Christmas every day...

-Brian Adams-

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas...

2010-12-14T16:43:00.000+01:00

And that dream seems to be coming true!
Hurray!
We made our house totally Christmas-proof this weekend, and I absolutely love it.
Lights here, lights there, lights everywhere, and the Christmas-tree smells so delicious.

Today we had our last official schoolday for the holidays. Tomorrow we will have a project about Shakespeare, Thursday some theatre performance and Friday, we're going to Antwerp!
I like Antwerp, it's so nice there. We are going to do a tour through the city and it's going to be multicultural. There is a Jewish district, and a Chinese one, and Moroccan, Turkish, Italian, African, Indian, you name it! (according to our teacher, at least)
I think that is going to be very interesting, and we also can go shopping! Which is good, because I still have to buy everyone's Christmas presents... I'm running a bit late this year, shame on me.
But I'm not even sure what is on top of my wishlist, and I should figure that out, too... I don't know, I want so many things, but most of them are too expensive. Going back to Peru, a Chanel-bag, a trip to London/Paris/Barcelona/New York. Or a nice boyfriend, that would be nice too.

"Dear Santa,

My name is Kirsten, and I'm 16 years old.
I live in Kerkrade and I love my friends, tennis,writing

and shopping, and all I want for Christmas

is a sweet, kind and handsome boyfriend.

Would be nice if he looked like Robert Pattinson ;-)

And can I make a wish for my sister too? I would like the boy of

her dreams for her, too.

So, please, Santa? I've been a really good girl this year!

With love,
Kirsten."

Let me dream like a child.

2010-12-09T23:31:00.001+01:00

In the night, the angels come. They sit next to you on your pillow and touch your hair while you're asleep. There's nothing to be afraid of. You are safe, as safe as never before. They take you away to a magic world full of dreams.

They say, when you are asleep, your unconscious mind wakes and causes dreams.
But is that a declaration of the dreams you have? Sometimes, dreams are really strange. Some are happy, some are sad.

Last night I had the strangest dream. All I can remember of it is blurry, some images and how I felt while dreaming it.

I remember there was a soccer game. All my friends were there, but we couldn't see the field. So I wondered if we could sit somewhere else, but somehow, it wasn't possible, even though there were empty seats left.
There also was a ballet-performance, and when it started, one of my friends from Peru came to stage and played an instrument. Then, a line of ballerina's in white, wide tutu's joined and started dancing. And then it was my turn, together with Leona, who went to Peru with me, and four other girls. We wore deep red tutu's with glitters and little feathers. We danced and it was beautiful. Someone texted me: "Beautiful dance," and I felt really good.
Next thing I remember, is a house on the beach. There was sand on the wooden floor, lots of sand. My mother and I had had a discussion, and I had to fill the refridgerator. There were so many bottles of Coca-Cola and Karvan Cevitam Forest Fruit-sirup, and all of it had to get into the refridgerator.
And then I remember a guy. He was a surfer, with this blonde surfer-hairdo, and a tanned skin. We had had a fight, but we had made it up again. It was really romantic. We kissed in an edge of the room, where no one could see us. He was so big and strong and he lifted me and I clasped my arms around him. It felt warm and comfortable and so familiar.

And then... I can't remember anything anymore. Did I wake up at that moment, or have I just forgotten what happened?
And what does it mean?
I can place some elements, the dancing with Leona, we danced next to each other in our Peru dance too, and yesterday, I had some kind of fuss with my mother.
But ballet? A surfer? A beach house? What would all that mean?

Do you have any idea? Ever had such strange dreams? Let me know if you want to!

With love,

Kirsten

Please, please, get away from me

Please, please, go and let me dream

I don't need any of you to tell me how

The rain can fall on me

There's a faith in my heart

I can do anything

If I just try hard

I don't need all the boundaries

You built for me

And no, I don't need no guide

Let me feel all the thirst I have inside of me

Let me dream like a child

-Sunrise Avenue-

-Dream like a Child-

An ending and a new blog

2010-12-07T14:31:00.001+01:00

Hi!

Hope you all are doing fine today!

Yesterday we held the official end-ceremony for our Global Exploration Project. It was a really nice ceremony, though it took all evening and I was just home at 23.30, feeling terribly tired, very satisfied, but also sad because it now "officially" is over.
I've never wanted it to end, it was such a great time, and the best experience in my life. Now I feel like the chapter has ended, the book is closed and it's done.
But I'm sure we won't let this be the real end. We're a group, we're friends, and December 18th, we have a SingStar-party at Leona's!
Who's in?

But what is sad, is that there are some people we probably won't ever see again, or never in the way we did. Meaning: Frederique from the Mama Alice Foundation, our guides, Ciro and Hubert (with whom we went skating lately), the boys and girls from Ayacucho, the streetchildren, the Indians, all people who were great to us and made us a wonderful trip, but now it's like something is over.

But definitely, I'm going back once. I want to see it all again, as soon as possible. If I could, I would leave tomorrow!
But that's not possible, so I'm going to save money and whenever I can, I'll be back on a plane towards Lima.
And maybe I could visit some of my friend there, then! The boys from Ayacucho, my "Peruvian Boyfriend" Anderson, or maybe even Frederique or Hubert or Ciro...
And probably, some people of the group are going back too, so it would even be the greatest if we could go all together again.

Where would we be if we couldn't dream?

Today's dream is:
I dream of never forgetting all the good that has come to me in all my life, but especially the time I was in Peru. I dream of my friends there living a nice, fair life, without so many difficulties. A world without borders, freedom for everyone.

And now I promise this will be the last thing I'll post here about Peru. I don't know who would like to know, but for the people who do, I've started a new blog: The girl who went to Peru.
I'm going to place more pictures of the trip there, and the comments out of my travel-journal. So, if you are interested, read it, I would say!

We can not change the world. But we can make a difference.

With love,

Kirsten

Sometimes, a picture says a thousand words...

2010-12-04T16:02:00.003+01:00

And sometimes, a picture shows a thousand words.
I love the power words can have, if chosen deliberately.
I love the art of writing, the way some people are able to write down the most beautiful things.
I love stories, poems, diaries, letters, books, cards, sonnets, love songs.

This is my favorite poem, it was written bij Goethe (1749-1832) and I came across it in Barcelona.

Kennst du das Land, wo die Zitronen blüh'n
Im dunklen Laub die Goldorangen glüh'n,
Ein sanfter Wind vom blauen Himmel weht,
Die Myrte still und hoch der Lorbeer steht?
Kennst du es wohl?
Dahin, dahin!
Möcht' ich mit dir, oh mein Geliebter, zieh'n!

(Do you know the land where the lemons blossom
In the dark foliage the golden oranges glow
A soft wind blows from the blue sky
The myrtle stands still and high upon the laurel
Do you know it?
There, there!
I would like to go with you, my beloved one.)

I love the poem, because I can exactly imagine what Goethe meant when he wrote it. I see a clear blue sky, I can imagine the way the wind streaks over your face there, and the smell of the lemons and oranges. I can see myself lying down in the grass, together with someone I love, just staring at the sky and doing nothing.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could store love in a little box, to save some for the moments we really need it?
A little, red box, a ribbon wrapped around it, glowing with the love which is inside.

I love the power of love, just like I love the power of words.

Together, they can create the most wonderful stories.

I really hope I will be able to create one, one day.

My dream of today is:

I dream that I, one day in the future, walk into a book shop, and see a book with my name on it on the shelves. I dream of people reading my stories.

I dream of becoming a writer one day.

And I'm almost sure it's going to be fine. Who knows...

With love,

Kirsten

Ice, Ice Baby!

2010-11-30T16:39:00.003+01:00

Hey hey hey!

It's SNOWING.
It started yesterday and it still is snowing right now. It's cold and the roads are slippery and it's hell dangerous.
But still, how could I not like it?

And as you can see, I changed some things around here. My blog now is called "The girl with the dreams," which is me. I have a lot of dreams, and today's is:
"I dream of going back to Peru to see all the beautiful things again, to check if they really are as beautiful as I remember them (I'm sure they're even more beautiful than I remember them). I want to have fun with all my friends there again, and feel good because of doing something good for another person. Wouldn't that be wonderful?"

This Saturday, some of my Peru-friends went skating together. I was there, as you can see in the picture. We had so much fun, even though we all fell down occasionally (For me, it was slightly more than just "Occasionally," actually...).
But we had great fun and usually we only laughed if we fell.
And as you can see, we did some cultural exchange indeed. We know about Peru now, and we showed our Peruvian guide and friend Hubert (third from right) some typical Dutch traditions. He did well, the skating, I mean. He really tried his best. Go Hubert!
It is so nice to have such friends! We are all so different, but it doesn't matter, it just works out very well, so that's definitely great!
What about going back next year all together?
I'm in, no doubt!

And tomorrow will be the first of December, which means it will only be 24 days to Christmas! Which reminds me, I still have to buy everyone's presents.
I went to the garden center again today, with my mother and my grandma, and I decided I'm going to collect pictureframes and make one big picture-wall on my room showing the joyful moments of my life. The picture above certainly is going to be in there!

Now tell me, are you looking forward to Christmas? Do you like snow? Do you already feel stressed out because you don't know which presents to buy?

Even if you think it's not going to work out, I'm sure it will ;-)

Cause in the end, Christmas is all about my favorite word, love.

With love,

Kirsten

Sorry Matthijs...

2010-11-26T16:27:00.003+01:00

Yes, I'm truly, deeply, honestly sorry for not putting your name in my blog about my friends from Peru.
So what about this, I'm giving you an entire post! Isn't that wonderful?
Happy now? ^^

That's him! With a sweet little Peruvian girl, of course.

P.S.: Matthijs, I say what I want. If I want to say "skating on ice," I say skating on ice.

Friends all over the world

2010-11-25T23:16:00.006+01:00

Hi!

Long time no posting, I know and I'm sorry, but I have been so busy, you don't even want to know. So I'll just skip that part and come to the point, I guess.

Remember I went to Peru? If not, you know it now.
Today was the presentation of the book which was made of our journey!
The presentation was so cool, there were people from all the countries which are part of Global Exploration, so from India, Nepal, Tanzania and Peru, and they held speeches and told us what the journeys had meant for them. And the book is beautiful, though I haven't really taken close looks at it, because my parents and sister immediately wanted to see it. But it's okay, I don't have to see the book to remember, I've actually been there!

But above all, it was so nice to see everyone again, I was really looking forward to that. We've gone through so many things together, we experienced so much and we have had such a great time together. And even though we hadn't seen each other for months (some of them, then), as we saw each other again tonight, it was just fine again. We just went on where we have been, as friends, as a group. Our Peruvian guide Hubert was there too, he's in the Netherlands for a few days, and we're going skating on ice with him Saturday! So cool, I just hope I'll survive, as I can't skate...

The picture above shows us in the Parque del Amor, Lima, at the second day of the trip. It was cold and cloudy , so we all wore our Grotius/Bernardinus College sweaters which had been made for us. Maybe not the most fashionable thing to wear, but they were so comfortable and warm, which was more important...
And on the lower picture, it's us again, this time in our Global Exploration-shirts, in front of Machu Picchu... Do I need to say more?

God, do I miss it!

With love,
Kirsten

Hi baby...

2010-11-02T15:09:00.004+01:00

Hey!

I'm just doing a quick post before I get back to biology again.
We are in a testweek once again, so I won't have much time for posting this week.
Tomorrow's biology test will be about 75 pages of information. Seventy-five! It's not human, it's ridiculous, it's crazy, it's not fair, it's way too much!
That's what we told our teacher, but she was just like: "No, of course you will all do fine!"
Well, I still have to see that myself.
But I'll stay positive, and my Dad will help me when he gets home, so I hope it's going to end up well. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

The face of the baby on the picture has been in our house as long as I can remember, and my grandparents have the same one. I like the way the light flows in at the image, and the baby is so cute. I love babies ^^
My parents made me watch our old homevideos the other night, and I laughed really hard at the stupidity I had when I was little. Babies are cute cute cute!

Guess that's all I got for now, really should go back into the books...
Remember to love!

With love,
Kirsten

P.S.: It's almost Christmas! No, it's not. But still, it's almost Christmas! ^^

It's another Flowerbomb!

2010-10-19T21:48:00.009+02:00

Hello!

Pff, this weather is making me depressed! (along with some other things about which I won't talk now... :P)
It's cold, it's rainy, it's cloudy and it's windy.
A good thing I have autumn-break, so at least I don't have to cycle to school while it's pouring. Always look on the bright side of life (tadatadadatadadadadaaa).
Even when the sun isn't shining!
Maybe I'll go to Aachen tomorrow, I don't have to work... But I don't know what to buy or do there. Some way, I'm not in for shopping, Starbucks or whatever right now.
Strange. Very strange. Well, let's just blame the weather.
And the picture above is totally cheering me up again. Took it this afternoon, while searching for more hidden Home-Decorations. My little sister bought these wooden tulips for my mother's birthday. Sweet, isn't it?
And at least we have a lot of flowers at home, some roses, a pepper-plant, some kind of green thing with big leaves and lots of orchids.
I love orchids! They're so delicate and lovely.

Now this entire story makes me think of a conversation I had with a friend lately, about plants and flowers:
Friend shows me a picture he took of one of his carnivorous plants (yes, he has carnivorous plants... SCARY, I think. Spotted some at a shop with Jasmijn lately, and we both agreed they we're creepy).
I: "Uhm, not completely my style.."
He: "No, it's not a sunflower... :P"

It just crossed my mind, it doesn't even have anything to do with the entire orchid thing. But I found it totally sweet he said sunflowers were my style, as I love sunflowers, too.
But for now, I'll have to do with the orchids, which goes great too.

That's all for now!
With love,
Kirsten

P.S. : Got rid of my glasses, wear contacts now. Like it?
P.S. 2: Went to Aachen yesterday, more about that later. I wrote this blog on Tuesday, but due to an error , I couldn't post the pictures, so delayed it to today.

Two little pigeons telling us a lovestory

2010-10-05T15:13:00.007+02:00

Hello!

It's such a wonderful day! It's warm, even for a October day, and I'm sitting here with my Grandmother, and we're watching wedding dresses. I love weddings, and I think it's too bad that I hardly ever have to visit one. For the dresses, I know I'm way too young to marry, and I don't want to right now, I don't even have a boyfriend. But these dresses are so pretty!
I mean, look at this one:

I can almost imagine myself wearing it, you know, with lovely done hair and make-up and looking all pretty. And then, my handsome Prince Charming (who, I can't help it, I always imagine a bit like a younger version of Patrick Dempsey, with a hint of Robert Pattinson... I wouldn't mind!), and then we get our happily ever after.
Yeah, dream on Kirsten, Earth is calling for you!
But, well, a little dreaming won't harm anyone. I do so almost all day every day, and I never noticed many troubles coming from it, so.
Like today, I was wandering through our house, and then my mother's home-decorations caught my eye. We have more than I thought, if you look well, you'll find them almost everywhere! I like them, they give the house a relaxed and playful touch, I think.
The two pigeons are adorning the bookshelve in our living room. Aren't they cute?
(In fact, I like these two because they're stone, real pigeons are a bit scary, I think. I don't like birds that much)

But I think that will be it for today, I have to help my mom making dinner or so...
Remeber to love! ;-)

With love,
Kirsten

P.S.: Who knows what the pigeons might bring one day...

A cup filled with treasures.

2010-09-20T17:00:00.008+02:00

It's sweet.
It's lovely.
It's heart-shaped.
It's pink, white, orange, yellow, the soft, sweet colors.

See? If we imagine this as a passage and we could walk into this, what would it be like?
Happy, innocent, cute, shiny, just like a sweet and sultry summer evening.

I've taken these pictures a while ago with my cell phone's camera, so that's why the quality isn't that good, but maybe, that blurry effect is doing part of the job here.
I like them anyway! ^^

And then, there's more... Something just as sweet, pink and cute as the little hearts.
It's a cupcake.
And it's all yours ;-)
I wish I could bake one for everyone...

With love,
Kirsten

A normal day, a retrorevolution and a secret wish...

2010-09-06T13:42:00.007+02:00

Hi there!

How are you all doing?
I'm fine, I guess, I picked up my new timetable at school today, and it sucks, but okay, it's only till Christmas, and the sun shines so my mood is better anyway.
*Okay, Kirsten, you can do it, you won't die, it won't be too difficult for you and you can handle all these things!*
(Peptalk to myself)
So now I'm just enjoying my last free afternoon, listening to music and writing a little bit, and searching new images to cheer up my agenda with.
This one above, I found on Photobucket, and it remembered me of when I was little, we had a house in the Eiffel, Germany and we went there in the weekends, and then I always got Pez-candy. They had these funny things to put the sweets in, with heads of Disney-characters or Snoopy or so on it, and you could click the candy out of it. And they had so many different flavours!
Yeah, the good old times...
By the way, this picture comes with the story:

Yeah, I drove a tractor, and I milked a cow once.
Maybe you wouldn't expect that from me, and when I see myself now, neither would I. But when I'm thinking of it, I actually like it, you know, a farm and these things... Maybe it is just because we spent so much time on the countryside then, it has become a part of me... I also like horseriding through the woods, though I haven't done that for a very long time, and I'm not sure if I still can remain sitting on the horse...

Talking about animals, we have gotten to my secret wish point...
I WANT A PUPPY!
Yes, I really do!
And maybe, maybe, maybe we will get one, in some time!
You know how cool this would be? I could go jogging with the dog every day, and that's such a good workout, and then I get some fresh air too.
The only thing we don't completely agree in is the kind of dog. My dad want a Border Collie, and I like them too, but I already chose one...

See? I absolutely adore this ChowChow! It's fluffy and cute and so cheerful! And it's not too big for me to take it out, and that's important, too.
Maybe I can get my parents convinced...

With love,
Kirsten

It brings me...

2010-08-30T18:13:00.004+02:00

What is it that we feel...
Friendship??
Might be.
Love??
Sometimes.
Special bonds to people??
Every single day of my life.
Fun??
Where would we be without it?
Smiles??
A day without laughing is a day without living
Sweetness??
Just to color in the lines
Happiness??
For ever.

Out with the girls, camping in the icecold mountains of the Peruvian Andes...
So much fun! (and oh my, it was so cold there!)

Having a little fun with our new Latino-friends... (the right one is Handerson, that was my guy :P)

And then, there is a time when everything is easy, no worries, no troubles... Sometimes I wished I could go back to that time. But maybe, in a while, I'll be able to make it like that again.
I don't know.
But there's always hope, and we can always keep hoping and dreaming...

With love,
Kirsten

I'll show you how it all began...

2010-08-19T17:21:00.003+02:00

It's what I did, what I saw, what I experienced.
A world totally different from the one I live in.
A world with possibilities for us, chances, challenges.
Possibilities we used, chances we took, challenges faced.
It's too much to tell.
So let me take you with me on a trip to what I've seen, and maybe you'll get a tiny idea of the feeling I had back there...
It's magical.

Now I feel it's finally getting real...

And the other moment, it is real... You're there, and you can't actually believe it. But it's on the signs, so it has to be reality.

And now, let me take you into the Peruvian night. Who knows what we might find...

The fashion-me is back again!

2010-08-15T16:54:00.006+02:00

Ciao!

Wow, this weather is so depressing, it has been raining all day long! Man, it's a summerbreak, I want sun!
Last weekend I went to the spa with Marthe, a friend of mine, who went to Peru too, and we decided we deserved and needed some nice treatments.
So we went there, swam in the hot water pools (which was so nice, unbelievable, like you are swimming in a huge bath-tub), sank down in the jacuzzi's and went to the beautycentre.
We both got a massage, and I almost fell asleep on that table, it was really, really really great. I think I'm going to force my sister into a massage-course.
They also have a sort of beach, you can lie down in the sand and they do this thing with light and then it's like you're lying in the Sahara or something.
So I got a little piece of summer, at least.
After that, we went to the sauna, but there was a tiny surprise waiting for us: 'No clothes here.'
Crap. We both didn't expect that, and it was weird, you know, all these naked people. We just kept our towels wrapped around us very tight and felt a little uncomfortable. But later we found out there was a women-only sauna, and it was desolated, so we went there, and it was nice.
We felt so clean and relaxt after it, I think I'm going to do it more often!

This week, Tjorven and I organised a spontaneous fotoshooting in my new room, and it was so much fun!
It felt (and still feels) good to be able to choose from all your clothes every morning, and not just say: 'Hm, do I want to wear my grey or my khaki trekking-pants today?' ;-)
And I already found millions of new combinations, shoes, accesoires that I want to buy for fall, so let's hope my parents will find that okay... (I think not, at least not all of it, since I haven't lost my preference for expensive things in Peru)

But, of course, I learned that it's not all about being fashionable, looking good and being stylish, it's about being happy!

Have a nice day!

With love,
Kirsten

In the picure:
Tjorven:
Top: Mine, Wonderwoman
Jeans: H&M
Necklace: Also mine, Bijou Brigitte
Me:
Top: Joe Browns
Jeans: Tjorven's, H&M
Necklace: Swarovski

Just a little getting my feet back on the ground...

2010-08-08T00:32:00.005+02:00

Hello!

Oh, my biological clock is totally confused. I'm still living in Peru-time, can't sleep at night and I'm hardly able to get up before 03.00 in the afternoon. I do have to say, I miss the whole thing, the being together with the group, doing nice things and have fun. Of course, it's heavenly to always have hot water, always being able to shower, or to use the toilet, and to sleep in a bed every night.
But still.. life here is so different. My world, and the world I've experienced there, they're two completely different worlds.

But I guess I'll get used to my own life again. I started working again yesterday, and by the end of the summerbreak, I will be nearly rich! (honestly, it's not a nice job, but it pays very well, and that counts for something)
What am I going to buy...
Hm, I want some designer-sunglasses, and spotted a lovely pair from Chanel. I could buy that. Or a flatscreen for my new room. Or a new iPod. A short trip to Paris. Lots of clothes. Louboutin-heels. New Prada-heels. Every single book I want to read, every movie I want to see. Or save a little more and buy a Chanel bag! Or a Vespa!
Or... just save it, just in case of? Yuk, that sounds boring. But... smart, somehow.
I think I'll make a list and choose the best thing. You'll hear about it!

Sometimes I really wish my dad was rich as hell and I could get everything I wanted. But then again, I see what I would have become: A spoiled, bitchy brat.
And having seen the way people have to live over there, in Ayacucho, it was heartbreaking. It wasn't human, not normal, for people like us. I mean, just look at the child in the picture. It's breaking my heart, it really is.
And then, how friendly these people were, offering us things they could hardly afford, and being so thankful for nearly nothing, I felt awful for having the guts to complain about my life.
You know, everyone always says: 'You don't know how much you have, there are people who have nearly nothing and they don't complain.'
And then you say: 'Yes I know,' but after 5 minutes, you've forgotten again.
And I swear, on the ashes of my dead grandparents, on my Prada-shoes, on my life, even, that if I will ever forget that, I will call a psychiatrist.
Because I did know it, of course, but now I've seen it, and now I know what it's like.
Maybe that's what you should do when you feel pathetic, or are whining about nothing: Go there, go to that developement country, visit the people who live there, help them cleaning their houses, and then tell me that you have such a hard life.

You know, in the end, all that matters, is keeping the good memories, keeping in your mind what is important, and letting go of your troubles, the bad things.
What way would be better to remember it than reading the written words, seeing the taken pictures, the painted images, and then trying to remember what it felt like?
And, like always, there is one thing we should never forget about, and it's called LOVE.

It's all in you, you've got it, I know it ;-)

With love,
Kirsten

I'm back in the U.S.S.R. (oh no, that's something else...)

2010-08-03T21:20:00.003+02:00

But I'm back in the Netherlands, at least!
(and for me, that's better than the U.S.S.R., though that is a funny song)
Peru was... oh, I'm not even going to try to explain it, I can't tell you what it's like.
It's beautiful, and when I have more time, I'll post more pictures. I learned so much there, it was such a wonderful experience...